Why is he pushing me away?

He's scared of commitment and doesn't think he's good enough for me... He tells me he's falling for me but he is terrified. I found him at a bad time and has to many issues that he doesn't want me to get drug into... And all these issues have to do with him drowning out his pain from his divorce.

But I was falling for him to and it hurts me to see him this way... And now he's shutting me out completely. He won't let me help him. Why is he shutting me out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is tricky but typical to males when they need space and are hurt! If he has been hurt recently he is not willing to allow himself to "go there" right now. You can care right now, let him know you are there for him, but don't be clingy. Step back, do your own thing, give him time to work out some things, and don't force help, only offer every now and again... remember one thing: guys handle stress and grief totally differnt that women- best of luck

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What Guys Said 2

  • We are mostly taught that we can guess or work out each other’s emotions and that the more experienced we are, the better we also are at guessing another part’s intentions or true feelings.

    But it’s not true. The simple fact is that you can never know what’s in another’s heart. So I suggest you let go of trying to do this. Instead of asking the question: “why is he doing this or that?”, ask instead: “how can I be the one completely stress free thing in his life?”. “How can I be like a perfect work of art, gliding in and out of his consciousness like a swan on a mirror lake?”

    Step back, give him plenty of space, be generous, and give him time. No ultimatums, ever, just love, and time, and silence. If he comes around, he comes around, if not, there was nothing you did wrong. In fact, by doing nothing, you are helping him either way. And if you love him, that is enough.

    I hope this helps.

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  • He's full of shit and lying to you. He isn't "afraid" he's just not interested in you unless it's just to fuck and he's too much a pussy to just say so

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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe he just knows he can't give you what you want right now due to mess he is and he wants to work on himself. Divorce is a serious thing and it might be difficult for him to work through it at the moment too. Some people have a tendency to push others away when they are struggling. I have this problem too.

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  • Because he doesn't want anything serious and knows you're falling for him and he doesn't want to hurt you.

    Time to cut bait and find someone who IS ready. You hanging around is not going to change his mind.

    When a person wants another person there is no holding them back from establishing a deeper connection or commitment. Believe me, I speak from experience and I'm trying to save you from the inevitable pain you will face if you stick around.

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