Getting over someone/met someone else..... should I give this a go?

There's this girl who pretty much broke my heart to speak. I'd asked her out twice, and both times she said she couldn't and that she wasn't ready, yet, nevertheless after turning me down she did lots of one-on-one 'friendly' things with me. I decided to give it one more go a couple of months ago because I thought she liked me (and rightly so), and again she turned me down, saying that even though part of her wanted to give it a go, that she just couldn't...

So I was prepared to get over her, or at least try and get over her. And I was doing kind of well. A month had passed and I met another girl, pretty cute, who I wanted to get to know better. <-- (I met her like 3 weeks ago)

But two weeks ago, the other girl - the one I really liked- told me that she liked me and that she wanted to go out with me- that she couldn't bare the thought of anyone else going out with me. And so we both agreed to give it a go. Then one week later she said she couldn't, that it was too stressful and too weird, and that even though she liked me and would be jealous if another girl went out with me, that she just couldn't go through with it... she's never had a boyfriend so maybe that's why.

So I've decided to let her go- as in, not try to pursue her anymore. It's going to be hard to get over her, because I see her all the time - she's a really good friend and I don't want to lose the friendship- but I think I can do it. It would be kind of silly to keep trying, because if she was suddenly to change her mind and want to go out with me, I would always have this fear that she'd break it off again...

So I'm pretty confused about my feelings atm. Would it be wrong of me to keep asking this other girl (the girl I met recently not the girl I'm trying to get over) to coffee, (but not on a date or anything- just a casual coffee - she's in my class so its not too hard)? She's nice, we've already had coffee together once and I think we got on pretty well. I just don't want to let myself like someone again and get heartbroken. Is that a bad/selfish attitude to have? (I mean I do want to meet someone, and be in a relationship with someone, I just want to know that they like me- I don't want to get my hopes up and have them crushed.)

Anyone here been in similar situations?

  • Yeap, go for it
    Vote A
  • No, you should wait a while
    Vote B
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  • "Would it be wrong of me to keep asking this other girl (the girl I met recently not the girl I'm trying to get over) to coffee, (but not on a date or anything- just a casual coffe - she's in my class so its not too hard)?"

    No it wouldn't. She had her chance three times and didn't want to date you so too little too late from where I'm sitting.

    Ask the other girl out to coffee, just don't put a label on anything. Everybody knows it's a date so saying it isn't is you trying to protect yourself; you have to put yourself out there if you want a relationship. So long as you know when to walk away, you'll be fine.

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    • I agree completely, when you get a girls number ans ask her out for a coffee and she agree's she may tell herself that she's just getting to know a new person but in reality she knows she's just accepted a date.. so there's really no need to call it one, or say its not becouse as you said your only telling the woman your lacking on confidence... Remember its what you don't say that gets her interest

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