Ex said I'm comforting but still broke up with me? What does that mean?

The first time he broke up with me and got back with me he said I'm sincere and wants me to teach him.
2nd time he recently broke up with me he said I'm comforting. He said he still has feelings for me and loves me but doesn't feel any spark like the first time and doesn't want me anymore. He sees no progression and that he's holding me back. He says I'm destined for good things and him not so much. If I have these nice "qualities" why did he leave me? I begged him to give me another chance but he still left... He had no remorse in his eyes when crying and said he did not want me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Even though you're nice sincere and comforting, he maybe looking for something else here. He doesn't see the relationship evolving and he just don't love him the same way you do. You need a better guy and move on from this. Good luck

    • He knew what I wanted and he knew that was not what he wanted. He's not ready to commit. He still wants to have fun because his brother haves fun and messes around with girls and gets stds. He looks up to his brother. It's gross. But if he wants to go down that route then let him be. I tried. So hard. I even asked him in the beginning what he wanted and he said me. That's why I went back. This is all a game to him. It's truly sad. That he lets his past hurt, hurt other people. I'm ready to settle down but I guess he's not. But with the way his life is, he needs to and to find someone serious because he has nothing going for him at all. Good luck to him though. He missed out on a good chick. Maybe he missed out on good ones like his exes too. He's an idiot.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Bottom line is, even if you would go back Together as Two birds of a Feather Tomorrow... Sorrow.
    I see a Full Circle Problem Pattern of him Doing the same Bird to you. He doesn't want a Real relationship or to be Hooked at the Hip with Anyone.
    He has no Heart of Gold, it's obvious here, dear.
    Good luck and You deserve better. xx

    • He doesn't have a heart of gold... I thought he did. But seeing how he is and treats/talks about people.. he's dirty. I don't even like him as a person to be honest.

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    • lol No, I meant "Number" as know what this one is all about.
      yes, some "P" ability at times. xxoo

    • Gemini twin, too. xxoo

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • This is sad for this to happen. I think he has a low self esteem and thinks
    you most likely deserve better but really hard to say. I think he shouldn't be
    putting you through hell you deserve better no offense but its hard to say.


What Girls Said 7

  • Just becuase you have nice qualities does not mean a person can't break up with you. What it really means is that his feelings for you were not enough to stay with you. You don't have to be a bad person for him to break up with you. For whatever reason, he honestly felt that you both were not compatible enough stay together, and he demonstrated that the first two times he broke up with you. If you guys were really solid, why did he break up the few times he did with you?

    Also, when you begged him to give you another chance, what was it you did so bad that you had to beg for a second chance? That's what you have to watch and not be so quick to blame yourself for something that may not even had anything to do with what you did or said. If a person wants to walk out of your life, let go and don't drag yourself down.

    Again, the reason he broke up was becuase like he said, the spark wasn't there. And if it isn't there, you don't want to be with a person like that to further waste yours and his time, but rather, be with a person who does feel that spark.

    • He broke up with me twice because he said I doubted him. I talked to him about "petty" stuff because he keeps talking to a specific friend of his on fb and liking everything. Adding girls he danced with at a club. So I always tolerated it but I always wanted to talk to him because I felt like I'm doing something wrong. Or that it bothered me. When I was sick I just wanted to be comforted. I felt seasonal. He wasn't talking to me as much as he talked to his friend on fb.. sending emojis. I asked him how come, he said because we were easing in and I damaged him and I have to earn his trust and effort again to talk to me everyday. The only reason why I went back to him was because he called me apologizing and asking for a second chance. I asked him what did he want. He said me. He wanted to do everything with me and to count him in on becoming boyfriend and girlfriend again. He said he still loved me and he feels the spark can come back but it wasn't like he imagined. We had sex a lot too.

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    • I see. I think there was someone else.
      I always had a hunch his mind was on someone else.
      Or he did something because I just felt like he seriously hated me and I don't know why.
      I'm pretty sure I annoyed him to the max that night so that too. Oh well. I'm sad and crushed, but not as bad as he first time he broke up with me. Oh well though. I tried.

    • Yes, you tried, and you should be proud of that. You were the one that was the strongest in trying to genuinely make things better without degrading and demeaning him.

      Perhaps sometimes he'll look back as a completely transformed person and realize what he did. Someday he may apologize, or somebody you guys could get back together when the time is truly right. But for now, it didn't work out. I'm suspecting he is seeing someone or has been for awhile, and despite your flaws, (which we all have) you didn't deserve that.

  • Based on reading some of the comments you said about your ex, he sounds like a dick. He doesn't deserve your commitment if he couldn't put his. Learn to move on from a headache like him.

  • It's hard to walk away when they're being nice, but you have to. Put this in the past where it belongs and move forward.

  • Maybe he was insecure and knew you were too good for him.

    • No. he seemed confident in himself.
      He said because the spark wasn't there from the first time we dated and because I was becoming "needy" and too serious about the things he was doing. But he was doing disrespectful things. :/ I tried to communicate that I saw what he was doing and express that I didn't like it but he continued to do it or yelled or blamed it on me.

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    • So again this was his issue not mines.
      I played a part but this all had to do with him.
      Sad thing is that he's most likely looking for another girl to fill in the void.
      Truly sad... I feel bad for him.
      To say he loves me he really wasn't that into me though.
      He didn't even want to be my friend and I treated him like royalty.
      He had psoriasis and I rubbed medicine on his scars with my bare hands.. thats how much I cared.

    • Yeah... some guys are assholes like that.

  • It means he doesn't love you anymore and it's over between you two. No matter how many times you try it will keep breaking cause successful couples do not break.
    It hasn't worked from beginning so no matter how many times you try it won't work again.
    He wasn't meant for you and you deserve better then him. Do not beg him; you can't force someone to stay with you.
    You need to block him and delete all his memories for you're good.
    He doesn't want you anymore it seems so you better move on and get over him. Trust me I'm going through same. I know it's very hard but stay strong and good luck.

  • Well assuming your not a pillow or a cushion - what he is saying is you are a comfort or relief to him but not the one. He doesn't want to be with you or see you in a romantic/couple way.

    He came back because you were available and let him, he maybe loves you as a friend.

    Get someone who values you more for you, not what you can do for them

    • He didn't even treat me as a friend though. That's the thing. He treated me horrible. Like he hated me and only liked me when I did sexual favors or had sex with him. Also he said I was like a cushion before "my boobs". I observed him. He's really not ready to commit. He still thinks he's young and doesn't want to be tied down. He lies a lot and says all his exes left him but I really don't think that's the case. I think he's lying. He had so many girls he dated. Over 10. He's proud that his friend messed with over 100 girls sexually. I'm just angry because he knew exactly what I wanted and he knew that was not what he wanted. He just wanted sex until he can snatch someone else up. It's sad. I'm not mad anymore but it's just sad because I wish I could help him but I don't even like him as a person. He's a user and acts like a little boy who drinks his problems away and gambles.

  • This is really tough, but your best option is to move on. This guy has hurt you too many times, and you deserve someone who really wants to be with you. In that way, he is definitely holding you back. You can't know why he doesn't want to be with you, you can only control how you react. You deserve better, and you owe it to yourself to find someone who will really love you.

    • I did block him from everything. I'm moving on. I feel like I'm nothing though... he did me dirty twice... I'm guessing he just wanted sex from me. He tried to get with someone a day before reaching back out to me but she rejected him. He's not that smart for not deleting his texts with her. But I guess I'm not that smart either for staying when the answers were right there in my face.

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