Ex reappeared?

was with this guy 2 years ago, I think i was the one who called it off as he would be busy and wouldn't spent as much time with me as I wanted though it was hard as we both had feelings for each other. I moved on think he did too. occasionally id bump into him in the street or quite recently we texted etc just normal not bout us, relationship or anything and 2 months ago he made his reappearance in my life. he came with my flatmate one night and as as soon as we saw each other the attraction we always had before was back as no time has passed, we kissed and stuff, then I surprised him and saw him again and we had sex too then he was busy and then I went away for over a month , he wouldn't keep great contact with me but he never was a chatty person, 2 weeks after I came back we talked on the net and he said he had a recent girlfriend , I talked bit about feelings with him though wouldn't need to its obvious he has feelings for me and I have for him I went to see him the same day I wanted to see the situation in real rather than messages, asked him for a cuppa we were normally talking about everything casual stuff, work etc then just out of the blue he mentioned (as he always did recently) the guy who was my flatmate who wanted something but I didn't (I guess he's jealous in someway anyway) then was gonna watch a movie and he wouldn't let me watch it , he was all over me kissing me as he hadn't seen me for a year and wanted to please me so much , felt like Xmas to me though I didn't let him , later on he brought up my ex flat mate again (ie he should be doing what my flat mate with girls). I could feel he's so much into me an thought he wanted to try again..

then another day I asked him out and he said wasn't good idea he thinks is best if we don't see each other for a while, I know its a difficult situation to come back together with an ex who you were with almost 1 and half years ago and he met somebody

i won't really believe he'd be the type of guy to just reappear in my life to mess it up and hurt me , he's not like that, he's caring but then you never know

does he honestly need a while to think or he's just running away from me ?

Updates:
so nobody is going to reply?
ok so here's an update, not sure its helpful but this puzzle bit might be, as I'm not contacting him for almost 3 weeks now doing the no contact thing and he put up his status on fb as in a relationship,
this girl I know her haven't seen her since left the company she's not very pretty cute smile though and she's not similar looking to me though my ex is kinda looking like better version of the guy she was with, and she was 2yrs with
funny thing her ex said says insecure and needy and I think that's when things went kinda wrong with me and my ex so would he really want somebody who's needy?

how do I get him run back to me again?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • he came back to you for a reason...random hook up? he missed you? he wanted to see if he still felt the same way he always has for you? he just wanted to say hello?

    there could be tons of reasons behind why he came back to see you and talked to you frequently...it seems like he loves you, but isn't sure about a relationship again because maybe he's afraid to repeat that year and a half that DIDNT work...

    during this time you need to work on yoruself, you need to figure out what went wrong, why it went wrong...but you should also be wokring on who YOU are as a person...go the gym (great stress reliever - I did it and I look a lot better than when I dated my ex) this will make you more appealing to other guys AND your ex...not that you aren't now or were before but working out will make you feel great about yourself and give you mroe confidence...

    look I know this is tough but no contact isn't to get your ex back...sure it may work but its really the time you need to use to figure out who you are as a person...i know this is easier said than done but you've got to try

    meet new people, buy a TV show series...something that will keep him off your mind and on something else...the less he is on your mind the easier(I know it will be tough, but you can do this)...

    if you guys recconnect again, take things SLOWWWWW...it was turtle that won the race NOT the rabbit (not sure if you know of that story in your country but its very true for these kind of situations) anyways you can't just, as badly as you want to, jump into things...you just got to let it happen...but also when you reconnet don't be all over him, show him that you're a better person and your in the process of moving on...this will trigger his mind that "oh sh*t I'm losing her, I don't want to, I need to do something about this"

    things will work out if its meant to be, you just need to remain CALM and collect your emotions before letting them show...esp around him

    do yourself anotehr favor and stop looking at his Facebook, its a HORRIBLE idea...youll just become upset and maybe angry...who cares what he's doing now!(I know you do but you can't show that)...you need to show him that you have a new life...put new pics up of you with new people and going out, make HIM jealous of you...envy you...see where I'm getting at...in order to make him realize what you are to him you need ot show him you're willing to move on without him if he doesn't want you, which you should be starting to do anyways...

    just use your head and take things slowly, this new "gf" of his is probably a rebound and won't last too long...dont worry and keep your head up ok...time will tell...start gettin on with your life!

    hope this helps, good luck

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What Guys Said 1

  • I half agree with Themastaplan, but I think there is a larger issue here. You like this guy, fine. But you are forgetting that it takes two people to make a relationship, and based on your description I'm not convinced he shares your feelings the same. To me this seems more that he was a guy of opportunity, and though there was certainly an attraction it may have only been physical on his end.

    What really puts a spike in your plans for me is the fact that he is dating someone else, someone you claim to know as being needy. I've found in my life that "like attracts like" which means he may be quiet and shy because he is insecure, which explains why he would want to be with a needy person. It also explains his motivations for the hookups with you, as all insecure guys get an ego boost from hook ups. It would also explain his strange behavior of disappearing after each episode as he got the boost he needed to go after other things.

    It may sound harsh, but it doesn't sound like this guy really respects you. More that he likes you as a person and views you as a casual friend with potential benefits. He is also locking himself into another girl most likely because she either strokes his ego more, or allows him a fellow comfort level in insecurity through clingy needy behaviors.

    You seem like a fairly level headed person, and I to that I would say "why this guy?" He may give you a strong emotional reaction that draws you in, but it sounds like he represents something you think is missing in your life and has become some kind of icon of pursuing it. Otherwise most women would move on to a new guy who is less complicated.

    My direct advice is to move on and let him figure out what he wants. If he sincerely has feelings for you (Which I'm inclined to believe are whimsical at best) he will seek you out when he is ready for more. In the mean time you are only hurting yourself by moping around about it.

    But since you are looking for specific strategies to "get him back", and if you want to ignore everything I'm saying, then the only angle that works is the "friendship one". You have to show him indirectly that you are a fun, interesting and worthy catch. The best way to do that is to live a fun, interesting and worthy life. Go out, have a blast, then talk with him about it. No to "impress him" but just nonchalantly how much fun you and your friends have. Date other guys and talk about them - not obviously, and not too much, but just enough to make him think he is missing out.

    And if you can get him to hang out, HANDS OFF! You have to send him a message that you are not his play thing, and in order to taste the fruit, he has to buy it first. Anything you can get easily and for free has no value. So make yourself a "catch" and play hard to get. Do that by dangling yourself in front of him, but never letting him get to you without a commitment - like a carrot on a stick. trust me it works. However, be aware he may just not be into you and it won't work.

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    • Thanx but when I was needy at the end of this in 2008 he wouldn't give it that's why I ended it so how can he now want a needy person?

    • Why this guy? I guess despite whatever id like to say and do I like the challenge and the complicated stuff , nice boring guys are just that to me sorry to say that but if I did have a clingy needy guy id run away and I have

What Girls Said 3

  • ill help u

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  • i want my ex to run back to me again but does he even talk about you to his friends? or try to bring you up in a conversation?

    add me ill try to help you out =]

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    • How do I add u?

    • Go to my page its not anonymous anymore

  • soo wats ur ?

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