Do you really ever truly get over your first love?

I think for me its abit of everything. I have learned to let go which it took awhile but it still effects me till this day in both good n bad ways. the good would be i learn a lot from my first love n the bad would be waking up with tears in my eyes or my heart hearting with this strong feeling of being sad. Since losing my first love i have dated 2 girls who i have leaned a lot from. The first new girlfriend cheated on me we are friends now but it doesn't really effect me. Now the 2rd girl am still with and she amazing. My new girlfriend is the closest thing i have to thinking or feeling like ill fall in love agin. I have only been dating her for 4 months n 11 days but slowly she growing on me. so anyway long story short i belive most people will nevr get over a first love.. some do n some pretend too.

  • yes with time
    38%(44)38%(71)Vote39%(27)
  • no
    16%(18)17%(31)Vote19%(13)
  • yes but they will always hold a special place in my heart.
    31%(36)30%(56)Vote29%(20)
  • no it still effects me till this day
    15%(18)15%(27)Vote13%(9)
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes with many Years and Tears and a lot Of... Comparisons.
    One never Really finds True Love after a "First Love."
    Good luck and Great question. xx

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    • Thank you paris n this is sky if u haven't notice by now

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    • ^.^ yea

    • lol:)) xxoo

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've never been in love truly as I've never had a relationship but sadly the two girls I get closest to in my life out of all the ones I've date I was just a rebound to. It was hard for me to get over and they're in the back of my mind as I had very strong connections to them initially.

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    • Awww it sucks being a rebound guy i known the feeling all too will

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    • Why did her parents end it?

    • becuase tbey felt i was good enough for her.

What Girls Said 28

  • My first love was over 30 years ago, and believe me life goes on, but through social media outlets people reconnect every day. I found him in 2011 after 27 years, things happened, we spent five years talking, it ended, once again after all those years, my heart broke, but even so I still love him and always will. It doesn't mean I don't develop feelings for other people, it is just he will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I cherish the good memories and try to let go of the bad ones!

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    • Aww life crazy byt nice

  • For me that's very easy to get over.
    Honestly I had several love stories and kind of loved all of them. I don't know who was my first love, I just assume but do not know.
    I mean, I know chronologically but I was not that serious about it, It starts with early childhood and goes till 14, the last time when I fell in love.
    When I was way younger I used to love one guy during school and another one during summer holidays. And all of them felt like a love and that continued for years till the last one who I met at 14 and fell in love and then when he asked me to be his girlfriend just rejected it and then ended almost everything. I wasn't ready for relationships. I kind of loved him after that for years and he loved me too, then we finished school and went to the other ways. I wrote last poem about him just 8-9 months ago. I mean I still remember him and all just I think our love wasn't that strong if It couldn't manage to draw me in a relationship. We still meet each other ometimes and we are friendly to each other Though now I regret rejecting him, I've had few ''things'' after him but nothing felt same or stronger.
    I guess my last love was my first love but I am sure after I fall in love again, memories about him will eventually die, cause in my case new love is always way stronger than the last love.

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    • Aww will u can always ask him out now or wait for that new love but lovely story.

    • I know but he's not really my type of guy, I mean I fell in love with him before I would get to know him better.
      He was a good muse for me and that's a sweet story but nothing else.
      He was and I was but I would never want to be with him.
      That's why I ended it, because I knew it would take me nowhere and I would get bored of it, instead I chose to go, to go when I mostly loved him, If I didn't end our "thing" that time, I would never remember him again.
      I left him to maintain these feelings cause If I stayed , I would fall out of love very soon and I didn't want it. I don't really know whether it makes sense or not but that's it.
      He's far from being that person who I always imagined with me.

    • Me and my new girlfriend barly have anything in commmon yet our relationship is perfect me and my ex barly had much in common yet the relationship was great so you never known. But i understand what your saying n thats your choice

  • Love is not just a feeling but a deep connection you have for another person. Once this develops we call this love and I honestly don't think you can get over your first love. You may not feel really romantic or want to be in that kind of intimate relationship with them, but deep down you will always care for them and want to know how they are or where they have been etc. If this isn't felt than I am afraid it should be called a first 'infactuation.'

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    • This is how i feel and i known me and her woukd never work out till she muture so i no longer what her that way but i miss what we had n still could be if she was strong.

  • You absolutely can get over them. But being over someone doesn't mean you can't be at all sentimental about your time with them. It just means you're comfortable with the fact that it's over, and you don't miss them or want them back.

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    • I still miss her but knowning we would never date agin or be friends n even we did date would work out so i let go and nove on.

  • You will get over your first love. It takes time. But it will happen.

    Just focus on yourself and your new girlfriend and try to be happy.

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    • That's what am doing now she just pops in my head from time to time

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    • Well I think you need to do your best to stay away from her. Try not to go places she will be or places she frequents. If you have a lot of mutual friends it will be tough. But eventually things will get better. And seeing her will become just like seeing any other stranger.

    • I rarely ever see her and i stop doing that. Before i would never go where she gos but now i go where i please won't let her control my life

  • Yes. I have no feelings for my first love. I can't even say he has a special place in my heart. My current boyfriend took all the space there :P <3 It just takes time and a lot of patience.

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  • No obviously not. I am a living example that for some they never will no matter how hard they try. Maybe I am like a Canada Goose - they mate for life and he imprinted on me.

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    • Awww did it at least get better for u? it did for me

    • Yes, the pain lessened in time, but it helps if he is out of site/out of mind and I am distracted with other things. Usually when I run into him, it can bring me back to ground zero and take time to recover again. This is true even when I have a random dream of him. The pain of separation is always there, lurking beneath the surface. He really hurt me.

    • Very true that's what happened when i see my ex or have a dream of her.

  • Sexually, you don't as its for a lifetime. Its for that reason why most people try to fill the void by friends with benefits, and one nigh stands. So it is entirely up to that person to want to let go, and how they are able to move on. Not a lot of people can move on. It is your choice to let go. If you want to, then just do it. If not, then it will last until your ready to let go. It took my friends a while on their relationships, as I only have about 2 that is in relationships, one that is married.

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    • Not talking about sexually i never had sex with my ex

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    • @Asker

      Because you did all those things. I had a feeling that you did. Those photos are going to have to be deleted. Every single one. You can't keep them. No matter who's in the picture or a good memory. Don't have them anymore, as that means that you having moved on. As long as you know this, it will continue to be on your mind and harass you.

    • So pretty much i should take the time to seach for this app on the app store them delite all the pics? am not sure how long it will take to find the app since its no longer on my phone i just now its a keepsake app. Questin i did all those things and more with my 2rd ex girlfriend but never think of her why is that?

  • My friend use to say she still love her first love but after dating her new girlfriend and him saying all gay people should die (and she big for gay rights). She does not want to talk to him again. Realize she over it and now into her girlfriend so I don't believe someone can love their first love after a long time forever. I mean if they were a ex lover for a reason.

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    • U sound lije my current girlfriend and also true in a way

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    • No she realize maybe she always liked her girls (she was pansexual before)

    • Ooooooo

  • I barely remember my first love. That was so long ago. And I have my boyfriend now so why would I think about someone I dated for a year 7 years ago?

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  • 5 years past and I still see him in my dreams. It hurts anymore. I don't know if it's possible to get over the first love, but if i can't be with him I want it's possible to get over anymore.

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    • Awww Hopfully i won't be in pain for 5 years n at least its gotten better its been 2years for me

  • I will always have love for him ❤️

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  • my first love was a complete asshole.

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    • Awww

    • hahaa yeah but with time... time heals all wounds. the right one will come around. I think I just met mine a week and a half ago. I've learned so much about him in such a short amount of time. he's everything and more than I ever asked for

    • Awww it was that way with my ex sk hopfully it works out for u 2. But i am now dating a great girl

  • Well, I haven't.

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    • How long has it been

    • Just a few months, but it feels like it has been years for some stupid reason

    • Beeen there sometimes u lose track of time

  • It takes time but you will always remember them.

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  • I know I did

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  • Neither yes/no. I never loved anyone

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  • If it's true love i don't think so but if it's just love then yes.

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    • May have been true love for me then

    • ahh but people always think that. "May have" is not something you say you know it deep down in your soul.

    • If it didn't work out then it can't be true love. Becuase even if i felt like she my soul mate it doesn't not matter. Becuase if she was she would still be with me

  • As for my first relationship, I can't call it love because I just liked the guy.. but he was too different from me so I eventually broke up with him without any regrets because it was for my own good and well-being.

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    • You did what was best for u so i cam understand that

  • yes, i loved this guy for like a year, all i thought about was him but now i have a boyfriend and tbh i completely forgot about him lol (as a romantic partner) were still friends tho

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    • Shit lol cold heartrd love u

  • You can love them and not be in love with them

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    • Does it ever work out when your not in love with them?

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    • Just because you have fights in relationships doesn't mean your not in life be with that person, god if that were the case we'd all be single and leave be free.

      You can also be in love with someone but know that they are not right for you. Maybe due to timing and situations.

      Love isn't easy. Being in life be with someone isn't easy.

    • Never said if your in love you won't have any fights. I just stated we haven't had any real fights or anything to test our relationships thats all i ment. But true with what u said

  • It might not be true for everyone but I never got over my first love (or maybe just not yet). It's been over two years and I still think about him every single day, every moment I get, I still think about him. I've been with other people but they're just not the same

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    • Sadly ssme here even through my nee girlfriend 100x better then my ex

  • I haven't even got over my first crush cause for me it has been the only and first crush I have had cause before this crush I had never had a boyfriend before or even date, so when this crush came to me 2 years ago for me it was good cause it was the first and only men experience I have ever had ( with experience I di dnto mean sex or sleept with the guy I meant dating or hanging out.

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  • All depends on the situation, I actually hate my first love he beat on me for 3 years and nearly killed me twice. Everything I had sacrificed for such betrayal and pain. I gave him everything, made sure he had every need he ever had met just to be treated like shit for years. I will never forgive him so I guess I'm not over him as I'm still angry and bitter towards him inside.

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    • Awww you will find someome soon even if its not too that lvl of your crush

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    • I did, but still to this day if someone mentions my exs name I get feeled with emotions of anger and regret and my fist tighten up. Not because I would ever want a person that horrible back in my life, but because I honestly do hate him. I regret the years I wasted, my time I lost being with such an ignorant asshole.

    • Awww yea my ex name no longer effects me at all am sorry he had a bad impact on u.

  • First love affects you the most. It's not just a simple crush or liking someone. When you first love someone, you give your entire heart to him/her without even holding back anything and when he/she hurt you, they hurt you deeply. Because you pour your entire heart out. The beautiful thing about first love is that its simple, its naive and its leave a scar that one can never erase because you bared all of you to them.

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    • I can honest say i argee with this. I give her my all with out even thinking of being hurt or trying to protected myself

  • i can't get over my egg sandwich this morning let alone my first love

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  • The first person I think of as my first love, was mostly an infatuation that lasted like three years and yes I'm completely over him. 110%. Were friends and I'm glad we are because he's great but I'd never date him.

    The first guy I can say I honestly loved, was a year or so after that, but i didn't love him for him, I loved him bc I felt pity for him and like he needed me. I'm completely over him too.

    The third, and the most recent, I genuinely, truly loved him very very much and we had a relationship to crashed and burned and even tho he turned out to be a bad guy I still find that I love him. But I believe that although I'm always going to be fond of our good memories and I'll never forget it, and that I will always care for him, I won't always love him, and when someone who's actually worth my time comes around I'll wonder why I was so hung up on him. I hope I'm right.

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    • hun you cared about all these guys
      but I don't believe you just by reading your writing

      (and when someone who's actually worth my time)
      ughh!!! worth your time!!! so you believe your better than them

      this has nothing to do with them
      all this has to do with your belief
      your beliefs are messed up

      and I have a feeling all there beliefs are messed up too
      I'm realizing it
      now that im older

      most relationships end cause of beliefs
      there is no standard belief for most people they run on feelings
      and even when both people believe in the same thing they don't discuss it
      through

      so it's really about finding the truth once the person finds the real truth then
      they can be in a relationship

    • @relaxrelax by "actually worth my time" I was referring to the third guy. Who isn't worth my time. He's not a good person.

    • @relaxrelax i can understand what your saying and feel like a argee with it.

  • Most people don't completely get over things from their past.

    "First love" is no different.

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    • What makes u say that? thats the only thing to effect me too this lvl

What Guys Said 19

  • I can't!!! No girl has measured up to her and never will. I don't treat any girl I get with any different but in my mind I'm constantly comparing unfortunately and it easily shows me that I will never resonate with anyone like I with her.

    I suppose I can move on but I guess I sort of refuse to let go.

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    • Same for me only i choice to try moving on and i been glet go of it all

  • voted C
    i think you can definitely get over that person. but i do think your first love holds a special place in your heart as it is a new experience and one you most likely will not quickly if ever forget

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  • Yeah, it takes some time tho

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  • Yeah.. It was in high school and I don't even remember her last name.

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  • I know I did, being separated by an ocean makes it easier.

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  • Every love is different and will have a different place in your psyche.

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  • Pain or problems will ebb away.

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  • For me C is the closest answer to reality.
    Because to get over your first love you have to fall in love again..
    So yes you can get over that peson but she'll always be kinda special :p

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  • Pretty easily.

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  • I think you mean first crush/relationship. While the love you feel when you're young is probably the purest form of it, feeling true love as an adult is life altering. I still remember my first two relationships. They will always hold a permanent place in my heart and I hope they have a good life now. But they're nothing close to what I found as an adult.

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    • I mean in love aka true love

  • You do.

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  • Yes, I'm over her but she isn't over me so it can go either way.

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  • Don't have first love yet , still searching.

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  • it is not possible to get over with this completely but we should try (if u get break up than)

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  • i voted C...

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  • Should I love my loveless lonely life?

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  • no it still effects me till this day, IT WAS 3 DAYS AGO HOW CAN I FORGET.

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  • If they didn't cheat

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  • I voted A, but by the time I broke up, I was over her.

    If there'd been a 'lol easily' category, i'd have picked that choice.

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