Independent single mother with ex boyfriend as the father, should I push for child support?

I am a single mother and have a one and a half year old daughter. My ex boyfriend is the father and we haven't been in contact since breaking up in April. We broke up due to strain from our relationship and the fact that I was so busy with the baby and we never really did much together anymore. Also he is lazy, didn't do much to help with her and doesn't have any real motivation in his life. In addition he never show any real interest in being a father.

We are still friendly with each other but he doesn't show any interest in his child and rarely has seen her. Being a mother is wonderful and my daughter is my world but not wanting to create friction and hostility between each other, so never pushed him too hard since breaking up.

I told him he can see her whenever he wants and left it up to him. I can handle and have pretty much done everything since she was born so never felt I needed anything. Am I wrong for not pursuing him for child support or a lot of contact?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's his child, too. If he's a lazy ass it may be more trouble than it's worth. I don't know a thing about how to make it happen or what's involved. It's also just hard to imagine him not offering to help. Sorry he's such an ass… I know that's not much help; I just thought you deserved a better answer than the first one.

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    • Thanks, well he is a lazy ass, has no job and he never showed much of a willingness to man up and put in the effort to be a responsible father. Was shocked when he found out I was pregnant. He helped some in the beginning and when we were together but never showed much effort. I don't want to also have to support an adult child.

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    • Thank you very much for your kind words and encouragement. No he's unemployed so it's not like I'd get much money at all from him. When we were together, he drifted away into his own little world while I took on most if not all of the responsibilities. I want a committed father, not a lazy boy.

    • You're most welcome. Best wishes for a happy future!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not sure what country you are in but isn't it the law?

    Is his name on her birth certificate?

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What Guys Said 3

  • You can't force him to be in his child's life but he should be helping financially because children are expensive. You have every right to get child support from him but if you don't want it that doesn't make you wrong or bad as long as you can provide for your daughter.

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    • Thats how I feel though at this point I've been able to handle most of the expenses on my own. The problem is I don't want to go through family court proceedings and hostility where I wouldn't receive much money anyway.

    • You don't have to go through all of that if you don't want to you could just ask him to help you out. It's completely up to you though you don't have to ask for anything if you don't want to.

    • I could ask him for help, When I did push him to be involved while together but he didn't, was on his terms. Again it's was a tough situation before we broke up and things are smoother now.

  • If you're independent why do you need child support?

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    • It would be nice, others say I should and he's the father and should be responsible also. Fine without it though.

  • Honestly Fuck women

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What Girls Said 3

  • If he sees her then yes get child support
    If not, don't push. He should have the right to back out

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    • He had the right to back out. Of her vag. It's his kid, too. Sex has consequences. Why should she have it all on her?

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    • She's trying to clarify your position. If the father has no interest in the child, should she just leave him alone?

    • @qwertyKitchen yes she should just leave him alone

  • Are you on any public assistance... any at all?

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  • I think you should be getting child support

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