I'm tired of pining over someone who never cared about me. For some reason though every time as I tell myself to get over him cause he didn't ever care, my instincts kick in and say "he did care".
I'm torn and I hate it. It's been since May 13th I have not a heard a word and I can't move past this.
Most Helpful Guy
You will take care, till you see him with another girl.
I cared also about my ex and trought she will look up for me,
but after couple months she started dating an mutual friend...
then I realized that this caring doesn't help at all.. if a person care of you, he will not leave you.0
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Most Helpful Girl
I've been in the same situation as you before. I was with someone who did not seem to care at all, only getting in contact when he wanted something. I put up with that for half a year. The times that I confronted him with my feelings he would convince me otherwise, that he did care for me. I understand this feeling of conflict and frustration you probably feel inside, the inability to move on. I've tried to reason out why I felt like so time and time again. I don't think I ever will have a concrete answer. However, this is my opinion as to why I couldn't get over it.
1. I'm a masochist , perhaps I have a disorder, I don't know. However, I do know that I like the feeling of being hurt physically and emotionally. By pining over the person who never cared about me, I was hurting myself and in a twisted way, I enjoyed that feeling. This was unhealthy and damaging though, surely. Perhaps deep down you might have a masochistic part, I do not know.
2. There were characteristics that this person possessed that I craved. Therefore, I always had this longing or craving for him. I always missed him in a sense. Perhaps this person fulfilled some need of yours.
I won't pretend that I understand all of your feelings. Getting over it wasn't easy for me. Firstly, I had to learn to love myself, truly appreciate me. You are the most precious person you have. You'll always have you even when no one is there for you. I had to accept that I can't tolerate hurting myself in that manner, I can't tolerate letting myself suffer never moving on like that. Perhaps you should do the same. Start focusing on yourself more, doing things that you enjoy, things that give you satisfaction. If this doesn't work, the best step might be to get what I would call closure. I found that a big rock dragging me back was that I never got any closure at the end of the relationship.
I hope this reply might help you even if a little bit.
I might be completely wrong.