Should I ask for closure?

My ex boyfriend has broken up with me twice. And there has never been a reason/explanation given to me. When we almost got back together I was so happy, and then he ended it again.

I don't know how to get over this kind of heartbreak. I didn't get over him in a year and a half after the first break up, then we got back together almost, and now I'm sure I'll never be able to move on because there simply is no closure for why my love wasn't enough.

If I ask him for an explanation, is that wrong, does it seem desperate, should I just leave it alone?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It’s really difficult right now, I know. But there is help on the way. You may not realize this now but it’s kind of a law of nature that we expand during unwanted experiences. It’s the same mechanism as the universe, which is always expanding. We are too, and never more so than when we are living a difficult time.

    Your ex left you and it’s normal for the ego to want an explanation. But remember how, when you first got together, no explanations were necessary. You simply were, and loving every minute of it. Suddenly when there’s a problem, we want to explain and talk everything to death. Why?

    Because the ego is engaged and doesn’t want to lose. When he’s in love with you, no problem. But as soon as he cools his jets, the ego begins to engage. We are taught to listen to it; we are taught that it’s not okay to simply leave. You have to explain.

    I suggest that there’s no explanations that will ever truly satisfy you. “I just don’t love you anymore”… well, why? And when did you stop loving me…. and WHY? “Well, I just became bored”…so, I’m boring? You’re the only on who thinks so….”sorry”. I mean it’s futile…..

    Why not just let it go. Remember the good times you had together which truly were good. The law of attraction delivers experiences and people to us that match our emotional state. This is why a good day keeps getting better and a bad one keeps getting worse. Learn to appreciate that when you’re having a bad time, as you are now, you’re in the midst of an expansion. Move through it and you know you’ll be happier and you WILL meet someone better for you.

    Finally, remember you don’t even want to be with this guy, not really. How do I know? He isn’t that into you and I’ll never believe you want to be with someone who isn’t 100% into you. I mean why would you? You don’t. You want somebody that loves you!

    Does this give a little bit of perspective?
    Best of luck!


Most Helpful Girl

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Well, it doesn't matter what you want, he should want the same thing. If he doesn't want to give you closure, he won't do that no matter what you may say to him.

    You are not wrong to ask for explanation or closure and it won't make you seem desperate but if he doesn't want to give you a closure then he won't.

  • Move on. "clusure" is some do-gooder liberal mumbo jumbo that makes no sense. You got dumped... move on.. past is the past. you will find someone else.


What Girls Said 1

  • You deserve an explanation. Ask for the truth. Tell him it will help you to heal and move on, otherwise you will ALWAYS wonder.


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