Should I send my ex a birthday card?

We broke up 1.5 years ago, then got back together for 2 weeks recently, then he broke up with me again saying he didn't want to hurt me again. Messed up relationship right? Obviously I still love him more than anything and cannot let him go, and I want to do something sweet like send him a birthday card.

Is this the wrong thing to do? If he gets it in the mail from the ex girlfriend he knows still loves him, will it make him uncomfortable as a desperate move, or will it do what I intend it to do, which is make him smile and know that I'm there for him?

Please help me stop obsessively thinking about this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The way you are feeling now is because you have deep emotional attachments to him, you've invested a lot of time and emotions into him so it's hard to pull back and pull away and accept the reality and fact that your relationship with him is over. If it's your very first relationship, don't worry about it, it's common that breakups happen for first relationships even if it lasted long, treat it nothing more than a learning experience. I understand that you very emotional about the whole situation, but think about it for a second, use logic over emotions for once.

    He's the one that made the decision of not wanting to be with you, that is ENTIRELY BEYOND Your Control. You will just have to let him go. It's all in the past now, time to move on. The longer you dwell on it and hold onto someone that you must let go, then the MORE Unhappy you will become.

    Things had happened, it didn't work out, the two of you had already tried to make it work but in the end it still DID NOT work despite any attempts and effort.

    You can't change him nor can you control how he feels, think or act, it's his decision. If he doesn't want to be with you anymore then there's just not more you can do, other than to accept the reality that it is over and that there's no going back.

    Relationships just aren't guaranteed to last. Take some time off to heal your emotional wounds at this point. If you have a social circle and group of friends you can count on for support to help you get through this then that will be more comforting and helpful.

    Tell yourself over and over again that the unhappy feelings you are feeling now are only temporary, and that "this too shall pass" as long as you do not dwell on it anymore, because you can't change what is now your reality.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You better not cause I don't think that gonna get you both back together again.
    My exe's birthday is gonna be an few days but I'm not gonna wish him cause he made a choice to be not be with.
    You cannot force him to be with you unless he wants to be with you. You broke up two times, there's no guarantee that you're not gonna break up again.
    I know how hard it feels. I had the same feeling too.
    If he still wanna be with you then he will come back to him. Do not wish him, if he cares about you, he will miss you.
    Focus on yourself, enjoy life, move on and get over him. Good luck.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Girl, take a deep breath, sit down and in your mind, in your mind, as you close your eyes, wish him love, picture him and you together in the beginning and how great that was.

    And in your mind, wish him happy birthday.

    If you actually send him a card, or do other “sweet things”, it’s really your ego screaming loud and clear about how unfair it is that he isn’t with you anymore. You don’t want to do “something sweet”, you want him back, and he already knows that.

    I suggest you learn to relax your mind to the point where you can feel the love inside and the herky jerky motions of the emotional storm aren’t rocking your boat so much. To the point where you can feel your always present, inner peace.

    Focus on YOU, not him and you will be rewarded with more like him, like he was in the beginning.

    Does this make sense?

  • Nope don't send him shit unless your sure you want him back

  • Don't send it. Nothing good can come from this.

  • no. he's an ex. MOVE ON


What Girls Said 1

  • there is nothing for you to gain from doing this, except possibly tons of embarrassment. save your time and energy for someone you know cares about you.


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