We broke up 1.5 years ago, then got back together for 2 weeks recently, then he broke up with me again saying he didn't want to hurt me again. Messed up relationship right? Obviously I still love him more than anything and cannot let him go, and I want to do something sweet like send him a birthday card.
Is this the wrong thing to do? If he gets it in the mail from the ex girlfriend he knows still loves him, will it make him uncomfortable as a desperate move, or will it do what I intend it to do, which is make him smile and know that I'm there for him?
Please help me stop obsessively thinking about this.
Most Helpful Guy
The way you are feeling now is because you have deep emotional attachments to him, you've invested a lot of time and emotions into him so it's hard to pull back and pull away and accept the reality and fact that your relationship with him is over. If it's your very first relationship, don't worry about it, it's common that breakups happen for first relationships even if it lasted long, treat it nothing more than a learning experience. I understand that you very emotional about the whole situation, but think about it for a second, use logic over emotions for once.
He's the one that made the decision of not wanting to be with you, that is ENTIRELY BEYOND Your Control. You will just have to let him go. It's all in the past now, time to move on. The longer you dwell on it and hold onto someone that you must let go, then the MORE Unhappy you will become.
Things had happened, it didn't work out, the two of you had already tried to make it work but in the end it still DID NOT work despite any attempts and effort.
You can't change him nor can you control how he feels, think or act, it's his decision. If he doesn't want to be with you anymore then there's just not more you can do, other than to accept the reality that it is over and that there's no going back.
Relationships just aren't guaranteed to last. Take some time off to heal your emotional wounds at this point. If you have a social circle and group of friends you can count on for support to help you get through this then that will be more comforting and helpful.
Tell yourself over and over again that the unhappy feelings you are feeling now are only temporary, and that "this too shall pass" as long as you do not dwell on it anymore, because you can't change what is now your reality.1
Most Helpful Girl
You better not cause I don't think that gonna get you both back together again.
My exe's birthday is gonna be an few days but I'm not gonna wish him cause he made a choice to be not be with.
You cannot force him to be with you unless he wants to be with you. You broke up two times, there's no guarantee that you're not gonna break up again.
I know how hard it feels. I had the same feeling too.
If he still wanna be with you then he will come back to him. Do not wish him, if he cares about you, he will miss you.
Focus on yourself, enjoy life, move on and get over him. Good luck.0