Is he ever coming back?

My boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me 2 months ago. I moved countries to be with him. He lives in Aus I'm from US. We had been arguing for a solid month and he went to a friends birthday party (all guys) he promised he would be home that night but instead messaged me and said he was staying with his mom. He came home the next day and broke up with me. Told me he didn't love me anymore and that I shouldn't wait for him. That he wasn't going to go out and date but he wanted to figure out who he is and what he wants in life basically. We left on shitty terms but good terms because we said we would try the friends thing. I got home and he told me he didn't want to do that he only said that so I would go home and that would be the last message I would ever get from him. He then blocked me from everything and deleted me from his life. (Pictures etc) I wrote him a letter a couple of weeks ago and it wasn't anything negative all positives. I haven't heard anything back but my gut feeling is that he is seeking comfort from his brothers girlfriends best friend.. My heart hurts so much because I feel so guilty I feel like if he would just talk to me things could be fixed. But he's already moved on and my heart keeps telling me he's the love of my life and that we're right for each other but the timing isn't. I feel like that's just sugar coating the rejection and him unloving me. Basically we'll never see each other again or let alone be together again.. Someone please help me. I'm so sad and depressed because I made him the center of my life and i hate not having him in my life. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It hurts. Realize that he isn't coming back and take the time you need to yourself to move past him. It was a meaningful relationship to you and there's nothing wrong with that but it isn't in your future sadly.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, when you make people to center of your life, you run the possibility of being very disappointed. People are very fickle and anything can suddenly happen, much like how he suddenly broke up with you, said he wanted to try the friend thing, but suddenly turned around and said he didn't want even that anymore. I'm not saying you can't hold a person dear to your heart, but it shouldn't be at a point where you are left very vulnerable and your entire sense of happiness is only dependable upon that person.

    Not that I mean to judge him, but I tend to think the whole "I need to find myself" speech is just another excuse for him to break up with you. If he needed to find himself or figure out who he is, I don't see why he went through the extremes to eliminate as much of you as possible out of his life as if you are disgusting in every way. My theory is that he probably found somebody else and needed you out of the way.

    What tends to hurt in reading this is that it's very clear how he feels or has been feeling about you for a long time. Because for one, he said he didn't love you anymore. So, if that's the case, he had to have been felt that way for many days, perhaps weeks or a few months before the breakup, and just finally gathered the courage to tell you, Loving somebody is an intense emotion, and for that to suddenly disappear would take awhile. So, maybe he was thinking about breaking up for in advance. He doesn't even want your friendship. He decreased the chances of you getting in contact with him by blocking you. He is CLEAR in how he feels about you, yet you still tried to put your heart on the line for him by writing a letter to him. You really think he's going to care for that after everything he did to try to COMPLETELY exit you out of his life?

    This has been somebody you dated for THREE years. You can't expect the pain to go away over night or in a few months. It will take a while to adjust in life without him. Learn from this experience, especially things like red flags you should have paid attention to, things you or he should have or should not have done, and signs on when to get out when a relationship is doomed. You still have a future way ahead of you and you are incredibly young to still have chances to meet all sorts of people.

    He's simply not the one. Or, who knows; maybe he's gotta change into a better man for you LATER. You just never know.

    • I just don't know how we ended up here.. Like this'. I mean do you believe it when people say everything happens for a reason? Or that fate has a funny way of playing everything out? I don't know it's been 2 months and I still can't seem to accept how everything is. It's killing me knowing he's happier without me. That I was the problem.. I feel like I've hit rock bottom. It's weird because I know he isn't coming back but my heart is so hopeful it keeps telling me to hang on.. I don't know what to do.. How does someone move on from this? Not to mention we were each other's first loves, first kiss, first everything.

    • Well, again, he's been your boyfriend for THREE years. How do you expect to just move on quickly like that? It's like you said, he was your first love or first everything. So, that carries a lot of weight in terms of when you're going to fully move on, or how long you're going to grieve things out. It's been only two months. Right now, you're going through a grieving storm, and you're uncomfortable to be forced to adjust to new settings and changes. He was there for three years, an now all of the sudden, he's not anymore. Don't be afraid of change, and you especially do not want to be with the wrong person who doesn't love you. I would think you'd have more respect for yourself to understand you deserve better.

      Maybe he won't ever love you again, but may one day come to respect you more becuase of how you maintained peace through everything that happened.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Learn from it and no he won't come back


What Girls Said 1

  • Did you meet this guy online?


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