Best friend and ex boyfriend have feelings for each other?

My, now ex-boyfriend and I were together for 3 years. He broke up with me back in August. He didn't see a future with me. He had felt this way for about a year, but he was afraid of losing a really good friend. I still wanted to be his friend, I didn't want to lose him. He is one of two of the best friends I've ever had.

My best friend and I have been friends about 10 years. She's married, though separated at the moment. They've been together around 10 years as well, married for 3. They've broken up here and there, but always got back together at some point.

Two days afrer he broke up with me I received a text from her husband saying they both pleaded guilty to having sex. Their relationship had been heading south for a while at this point. This was the beginning of their seperation. I confronted both of them. They confirmed it. And admitted to having feelings for each other. They asked how I felt. Asked if this would've completely destroy either of the friendships I had with the both of them. A couple weeks later we find out she's pregnant. After learning how far along she was, they told me and her husband the truth. That they had been sleeping together since June. Two months before he broke up with me, and her seperating with her husband.

She goes back and forth between wanting to fix things with her husband and wanting to be with my ex. That's a whole other story in itself. There is a small chance this baby is her husbands, although highly unlikely being he couldn't get her pregnant for years.

I would like to hear others opinions of them wanting to be together, then she wants to fix things with her husband. And how you can go from not even wanting to be friends with someone to hoping in a relationship overnight. But that's a messy story, and I wouldn't even know where to start.

The three of us are still "best friends." I don't want to be with him anymore. So why does them wanting to be in a relationship hurt me so much...
12min Because this is how they hurt me, and now it's part of my life? They know I'm not thrilled about it. They know it upsets me sometimes. I chose to stay and get through this because I didn't want to lose my two best friends.

What do you? How would you feel? What would you do?
Taking my feelings out of the picture, I still don't think it's a good idea for them to be in a relationship right now. Being she runs back and forth with her husband. AND they haven't even started the divorce yet. She's even admitted on multiple occasions that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. That it would be best if she was alone a little while. But she's afraid to be alone, and says she doesn't know how. She turned this into choosing which guy she wants to be with.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Since you reposted I'll copy and paste my answer.

    Why would you want to be with either of them? She went behind you back and cheated with your boyfriend despite the fact you were friends for 10 years, and then he cheated on you and wants to get with your best friend of 10 years. I think you'd be best off to dump both of them and let them sit in their own shit. You shouldn't help fix their problems because their problems result from the problems they made for you.

    • Ha! Thank you. I couldn't decide which category was best fitted.

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    • I know. What they did completely baffles me. Your best friend and your boyfriend are suppose to love you and care about you. You don't do this to people you care about. I've wondered why one of them didn't stop it. How did they both lose their minds at the same time? And it being a regular thing changes it for me. Sure once defiantly still would've hurt. But they didn't stop there, and I really don't get it.

      I also learned he cheated on me once before, with his ex about a year ago. I've asked them both why before. But I've never really gotten real answers. I'm not even sure what a real answer would be.

      He says "he was stupid."
      She says "she was thinking with her vagina. Not her brain."

    • It doesn't make sense at all. The guy should be out of your life no question. The girl, in my opinion should be too but I can understand since you've known her for so long. However, at the end of the day, even the fact you've known her for 10 years didn't stop her from fucking your boyfriend. To me that says a lot. You deserve better than either of them quite frankly. And like you said, one time would have hurt, but they kept doing it and doing it and continually lied to you. They don't deserve you to be completely honest. I'd be just disgusted with them.

What Girls Said 2

  • Sorry I feel so bad for you. It sucks that they did that behind your backs. That is no friend. I suggest you cut all contact for a while - a few months anyway and stay out of the drama and focus on taking care of yourself right now. See a therapist and talk things out. This is a lot to deal with.

  • please dump both of them as friends. Honestly your situation almost made me tear up from how messed up it is. they don't deserve you, and don't care about your feelings as shown by how they slept together before you and your ex were even broken up. Please. Dump them


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