Just found out my ex boyfriend is sleeping with a very good friend of mine and they've been hiding it from me for weeks. what do I do?

my boyfriend and I broke up in February, but we've been kind of on and off since then, up until about a month ago when I finally couldn't take it anymore and cut the cord for good. the other night i was out at a bar and noticed him and a good friend of mine getting a little too close for my liking. i had a bad feeling about it but didn't want to think about it or cause a scene or look into it at all. then later on in the night, one of my guy friends who i knew was hooking up with this girl, came up to me and said how fucked up it was that my ex boyfriend and said girl were hooking up. i nearly fell off my bar stool i was so blinded sided and shocked. i confronted my ex and my friend and asked them flat out if this was true, my ex said it was and has been going on for a few weeks now. my friend just turned her back towards me and had a mutual friend of ours get in my face and tell me it was none of my business and "move on." i've never been so hurt by a group of people in my entire life, and really don't know where to go from here. i'm mostly hurt that my friend has been keeping this from me and i had no idea, and that when i tried to confront her about it she completely ignored me and turned her back. i texted her a few times as well and haven't heard one single word from her. i don't know what to do. i know we are both supposed to move on but i was not expecting this in my wildest dreams.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • She's obviously not your friend. They are right, you should move on but that doesn't mean that it's ok for your friend to do that.

    Personally I would just not associate with your "friend" anymore and that's is.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • While yes, in fact it is none of your business. If you're calling someone a friend they should have some moral decency and not withhold information like this from you. You have every right to be upset. I'd question my friends character.

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    • Rated down why? I opposed other people's harsh opinions that this shouldn't matter at all.

    • thank you i appreciate your response i'm not sure why so many people have been so rude on this thread

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What Guys Said 14

  • He's your ex. You lost the right to interfere when that became true. He could be doing anyone and you really have no right to interfere. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but that's life. She crapped on you and so did he, and it sounds like it doesn't bother them, so maybe a new group of friends is in order.

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  • He *is* your ex, after all. What he does now is none of your business, and likewise, your friend isn't obligated to tell you what she does. That you have gone berserk over this suggests it was wise of them to keep their private lives private.

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  • Neither of those people are your friends maybe you could mend those relationships at some point later. Regardless if your broken up now its your business because it happened while y'all were dating. You really should have told that mutual friend to seriously back up while you were talking.

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  • you broke up they are not yours anymore. get over it.

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  • He's your ex; it's none of your damn business what or who he does.

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    • first of all lose the attitude dude i don't even know you. i'm more concerned about my friend and if it's possible to have a friendship with her after this.

    • It's none of your business who SHE gets nailed by, either.

  • Sounds like she's not really your fried
    Id take her advice and move on cutting both of them out of your life you'll be better for it

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  • He's your ex and he's thus free.
    Your friend is free too.
    Where's the problem?

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  • If he dumped you this would make more sense. But you cut the chord with him. You have no say in who he hooks up with, nor do you have the right to know who or any details about it. They weren't hiding it. They just didn't tell you, because... why would they?

    Maybe your friend could have gone to you beforehand to let you know what was going on. But it wouldn't have made a difference in how you felt about it, because she was going to do what she wanted either way. The fact that you got in their face about it right away tells me she made the right move by not telling you and ignoring you in the moment. Because you flipped out over the guy you dumped.

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  • She ain't your friend... neither of them our. It wasn't so much them being together (which IS part of it) but how they reacted.

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  • Sleep with his friend if you're juvenile, Brother if your Vengeful, or Ignore him and move on if you're an adult.

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  • Grow up please.

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  • He's your ex right? Why is this even a concern?

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  • Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...

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  • U dont own him anymore. he's not ur property that she stole. It is none of ur business. Ur way out of line. U can feel however u like but what they do isn't ur business. would she have been a better friend to tell u or ask u how u felt? yes. but she doesn't have to tell u who she fucks. and u dont know whether she just didn't want to tell u until it was serious.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Who cares what they do? You aren't either one of them lol. It doesn't affect your life in anyway at all. They aren't your property. Let them live their lives. You go live yours.

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    • yah i'm sure you'd think the same way if you found out your good friend did this to you

    • I have been in this situation... I did think the same way as my original post says. Get out of your feelings. The world is not about you. Live your own life and don't waste time trying to change someone else's.

  • One thing I've learnt is that girls are bitches.

    This is a fuckboy ofc, but at least he admitted it, and what this stupid girl fails to see is that if he can do this to you, he's probably done it before in the past too, and the same bullshit will be coming her way too. Karma will be nice tight slap in the face for her.

    Just make peace with it, and move on. You deserve much better friends, and you will find a hot sexy boyfriend that will have everything you've wanted in a guy, and the biggest thing is that he will be faithful, you wouldn't have to settle like you did with your ex :)

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  • kick him in the balls and tell the freind that slept with him that she is a desperate petty scumbag. Also tell him to fuck off cause he is nothing but a limpdick

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  • Well she obviously doesn't value her friendship with you

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  • why put yourself in that situation. you found out. let them be. take care of yourself. meet new friends. hang out in new places.
    too much drama in that bar.

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  • Nothing. Leave them to it. They're both obviously low life's. Lucky you found out now before you got back with him or she fucked your new boyfriend. She's no friend, and be glad he's an ex. Both of them are cunts. Seriously. You're better off without both.

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  • He's your ex. So it's none of your business anymore. Your friend has no obligation to report to you either. If you don't like it just stop hanging out with these people and find yourself new friends.

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  • Ok, well clearly she was wrong both to hide it from you and then to turn her back when you confronted her. On the other hand, you sound a little emotional and it seems maybe you were a little angry and emotional when you confronted her, which was probably not the best approach if you were interested in keeping her as a friend. Then her turning her back and having her friend telling you it was none of your business... well that's wrong. It is your business as far as not wanting friends to be hiding crap from you so... just let it go. Move on, let them be, and disconnect from her for a while so that if you do talk to her again you can talk to her without getting emotional about it. People make mistakes and her mistake was just not saying that she was seeing that guy... but honestly from the tone of your question here, i question how you would react to that because in a sense it really was none of your business if they wanted to get involved and the way you handled it was not the best. I can't imagine how saying to her "hey friend, i see you are dating "John" my ex, it's ok if you want to do that, im just a little hurt that you didn't tell me, you know because we are friends" would end up with her ignoring you and sending your mutual friend after you.

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  • He's your ex for a reason. You guys broke it off way back in February. Who he decides to fool around with is really none of your concern. Your friend also does not have to report to you in who she wants to fool around with as well, becuase you have no say or influence in that at all. And that was the reason why she hid it from you, to prevent drama and shouting from occurring.

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