How should I contact my ex after a fight?

I want to contact my ex to ask him a question, but I feel that since our fight the other day he doesn't want to hear from me. I have a lot to say, but I know it will just be another fight with him. I love him and I miss him very much we were talking just fine until I let my emotions get the best of me and lashed out at him because I was getting tired of the way he seemed like he didn't care if I contacted him or not.

It's been 5 days since we last talked. He never really told me to quit texting him or to leave him alone. He just told me to stop overthinking like I always do and that was it. I want to wait to see if he reaches out to me first, but the longest we went without talking was almost a week and I had to initiate contact, the time after that was 3 days and he initiated it. I have a lot that I want to tell him, but if I say what I feel again I'll lose him for good. How can I talk to him without overthinking, assuming, letting my feelings get in the way, and letting my emotions get the best of me? I really want to talk, but I rather him come to me first because it shows me that he wants to talk, but if I initiate contact I always feel like I'm bothering him.

I don't want to make him angry or push him away any further. Should I just ask him one question and be done with it so that I can get some closure? I know that I may not get the answer that I want. I'm scared to ask too because I may not want to know the answer. He said that he was done with me, but shortly after we were texting back and forth and he responded. If he was done he would ignore me and not respond. I want to apologize, but he said that it was, "oh well." I'm so lost, I wish I knew what to do. I really want to talk to him, but I also want to hear from him first too.

I want to tell him that I miss him and that I'm sorry. I know the fight was 5 days ago, but I don't know what to say or if I should say anything and let it be. What should I do?
This is the 3rd time that he has come back into my life. He gets mad over stupid things that I say, sometimes the things that I say are what's bothering me and he doesn't have anything to say about it. It frustrates me a lot! I don't know what more to say or do.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to give the guy more space. I mean, he's your ex, not your boyfriend and he seemed to make it clear that he doesn't want to hear from you. I understand that you're hurt and that you have things that you want to say, but you're just pushing him away further and quite frankly, you need to accept that you may have to move on from this relationship.

    So don't contact him and wait for him to contact you, especially if this "question" that you need to ask him is a question about you and him.

    • He hasn't made anything clear. I said that since the fight the other day it seems as if he doesn't want to hear from me he hasn't really said. I've been back and forth with this ex for 2 years he comes in and out of my life like crazy I say something and he gets mad and doesn't want to talk. Our argument was about him not being honest with me when I feel that he is using me yet again. It upset him and he got mad and said that he was "done" but yet he continued to conversate with me shortly after. He never really said to leave him alone, quit texting, or to lose his number. The last thing we were arguing about was me not stopping then he asked one more time to just stop and I said ok and that was it.

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds Like one hell if a toxic relationship...

    He just leaves and ignores you
    You nag and I'm reading between the lines here but are really insecure, jealous etc

    Doesn't sound like a foundation for marriage to me, you have to ask yourself why your doing this to yourself, allowing yourself to get so worked up and trying to control the outcome.

    Leave him, let him have his space... You should stick to your original plan, if he did this to you again that was it right?

    Then be true to yourself, have some balls and stop this toxicity in your life, have some self respect and get the person you DESERVE and both of you move on.

    Really you should think about ridding this relationship from you, it's sounds like it's making you needy and jealous and insecure... 3 things that ruin a person and relationships.

    Hope You can be strong x

    • I'm not jealous nor insecure. How would you feelif someone left you for the same person not once, but twice and when they come back into your life you need some reassurance that it won't happpen again. I use to be jealous and insecure, but I'm not like that anymore with him. I do love him, but if he loves me and wants me than the least he can do is show or prove to me that he means wha he says. I've been really patient with him for the last 2 years and he takes advantage of my kindness. I only nag because I don't like people who are inconsistent. I need to know what's going on before I do anything, I don't want to be hanging off of my seat just waiting for him to do something and it never happening.

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    • I was jealous at first, but once he did it to me the last time I swore to myself that I'd never let him back. I said some extremely hurtful things to him and I burnt a bridge that I thought he would never return from, but he did. After. He said what he said to me I didn't want to hear from him ever again. I'll never really know why he came back.

    • Let It go, heal and move on. You deserve that.

  • I think you should give him some space to think, maybe he's lost, let him figure out things and know what he really wants, stop texting him or calling him, disappear from him. This has happenned to me as well when I asked him for a second chance but he dumped me saying he needs time to think, I tried to forget about him and keep myself busy, then he started liking my pictures, posting sad quotes after 2 months of our breakup, he finally made the move and talked to me yesterday, so let him crawl back to you, if he wants you he will eventually be back. Best of luck!

    • We've been back and forth for 2 years he just came back in th picture for the 3rd time in August. He gets mad at stupid little things that I say and becomes really immature and makes everything seem like it's my fault when he's the one that does these things. He won't tell me the real reason why he came back and what he wants from me. When I comfront him all he can say is stop. Why can't he be honest? All I want is reassurance that he won't do what he did again.

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    • I think you both should discuss this to figure out things, Best of luck!

    • Thanks!

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