When should I try to contact him about a meeting?

My ex and I have now been Separated for three weeks. He is working on his life decisions. I have been trying my hardest to do the limited contact thing and have gotten better with time. Over the past weekend he found out I was going to a 26 hour paint ball game and called me late at night while I was gone. I missed his call and in the morning like clock work he text me as soon as he got up and asked if I was going to ignore him all weekend. I sent him a short reply saying I was camping and would talk to him sometime later. Upon return home my best friends Boyfriend was killed in a motorcycle accident. This made my mine go into a frenzy because I hadn't talked to my ex in days! I tried to call no answer. I pulled a crazy and went to his house and told him I needed some support in dealing with the drama and I was glad he was OK. This turned into a very serious talk bout our feelings for each other and he told me that he has thought a million times about coming back but doesn't want to if he has any doubts if we will make it. He then told me he wants to join the military which makes sense of the commitment issues since he believes I may not go with him if he gets stationed somewhere else. (Not true. I have thought long and hard and I would spend the rest of my life with this man if he would have me) We proceeded to get mushy and talk about what we would need to work on together communication wise if we were to get back together and it turned its us making love. After he didn't want me to leave. I forced myself to leave but it was like everything was back to normal. Before I left he said he just needed more time to be sure and that he loved me and thanked me for understanding he needed to think. We have talked briefly but I am trying to give him the space he needs. I don't want him to think I used him for sex and I don't want to push him away. When should I try to contact him about a meeting, to get coffee or something to work on us without the heavy relationship/break up talk? Should I continue to say hello Via text every now and then? Please advice!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • this is a hard one, and you are very mature for your age. YOu have done all the right things up to this point by giving him space and I think this is why he is now doubting breaking up with you. I would give him some space, maybe a week or two. Then after that just call, pretend he's your best friend and say, Hey, hows things? and just make casual convo. Just act like a girl who has her head on straight like you are doing now. don't ask him if he has thought about wanting you back. done talk about teh break up at all unless he brings it up. A little trick that seems to work for me- call his phone just enough to let it ring one time, then hang up. Ill bet he calls you back . good luck

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, your boyfriend actually sounds like a decent dude. All you can do is tell him how you feel one last time and if he doesn't reciprocate then you have the moral highground to move on. But don't play any games. This is a pivotal time in both your lives and you shouldnt make any move based on, "the grass might be greener on the other side of the fence." logic because trust me, it doesnt:)

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  • dont contact him at all...he will contact you when he's ready to...its hard but if he's the one with the issues he needs to sort them out and then reach out to you...

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    • It totally worked!!! He contacted me this weekend and asked if I would be comfortable dating each other again, So we are going to take it VERY slow!

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes you should keep in contact every now & then.

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    • How do you do that I am going through the same thing I am scared to contact him and get rejected..i feel like I am doing so good right now is it worth getting hurt.. I told him I needed time with the friend thing and told him to check in and its been almost 2 weeks I have been away too though..

    • You need to read "He's Just Not That Into You". If you really want to play the game & contact him, call him, put your phone on the table with some music on in the backround, or in the car, just leave it there, he'll hang up & call you back & you pretend you didn't call & that ever since the crazy party you went to the other night, your phone has been messed up, ask him how he's been & then hang up on him after he says a few things. Shut your phone off for an hour & then don't contact him again.

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