What are the chances he will contact me or we will get back together?

We started dating when we were 16 and dated straight through college. We both graduated and moved back in with our parents. We are both 22 and we have always been pretty happy. We bickered a normal amount. We have talked about children ( he wants a lot of children and i was scared of childbirth but still wanted a family) marriage (he wants a big wedding and I don't) and moving out ( he wants to live at home for a while and I want to move out now) we didn't have fights about this but I just thought whatever happens happens I'm not really set on one thing because I just want to be with him. He texted me one night about how we were fighting and so I made him come over to talk. He mentioned things that I did that bothered him (small little selfish things) and he also mentioned that he had been unhappy for a long time. He said that how could he know he wanted to be with me if I was the only person he had ever been with and how he wanted to be able to go off and do his own thing. he also had a lot going on with work where he was trying to find a new job and I'm sure he felt pressured from his family and his boss is leaving so he would have to temporarily do his job. He was unsure of who he was and what he wanted to be with his life. He said he needed space and that he thought we should break up. I could tell he was about to tear up and it wasn't easy on him and we hugged. I was an emotional mess. 3-4 days later I messaged him asking to meet up and talk and he did not want to. He was so cold and stated that he knew he didn't want to be with me and he wanted us to be over and he did what he did because we was so unhappy for so long but that maybe in a few weeks we could meet up and talk. It's been three weeks since I reached out and he has not contacted me at all. I want to reach out but I also want to respect his space. Any thoughts? Help! I've been going to the gym and trying to focus on myself but it's hard.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I understand it must be a really difficult situation, you having been together for so long. It’s a great time to learn, after you move through the sadness, hopefully quickly 

    In the beginning of a relationship, we are always so happy and excited, and we’re only noticing the good things in the other. We often say, erroneously, that “(s) he makes me happy”. Later, when we start to give more attention to other parts of life, and the partner does too, we feel badly because we miss the beacon of their loving attention. This is the beginning of the end for many relationships.

    In your long relationship, you have grown accustomed to your boyfriend being the one who made you happy, and you’ve also gradually accepted a few disagreements about seemingly insignificant things. But thinking that somebody else is who makes you happy, is very damaging. And here’s why it’s not true.

    When you’re happy, who is it that’s happy? Obviously, you. So if the happiness belongs 100% to you, how can it be caused by another, or another’s good behavior? Furthermore, do you remember being by yourself, and being happy? You do, yes? So it follows that your happiness is not only yours, it is generated 100% by you.

    The other person has a role to play, though: he inspired your happiness. When you get this distinction, your life will be much better. You’ll learn to appreciate the other person for what he actually does, which is to inspire you to new heights of happiness and energy and vibration. But MAKE you happy, he didn’t.

    Whenever you feel less than stellar in a relationship, consequently, you must stop looking at the other person’s behavior, and focus on yourself. You mention you’ve tried this in the current situation, and that it’s difficult. However, your brilliant instinct is correct: you must focus on yourself.

    Nobody can say if you’ll be together but it really doesn’t matter. You don’t want him right now. No, you don’t because he’s not wanting you right now, and I know you want to be with someone who is into you. So focus on that, focus on your dreams and desires: being with a great person who is really into you, who is SURE he wants to be with you and ho doesn’t waver, like you don’t waver.

    I have so many examples of heartbreaks immediately followed by insane happiness with another person. The best is my best friend who recently was firmly rejected by an object of his intense desire. He was devastated and called me in tears after having flown across the country to be with her. She

  • It's over permanently and completely and you will not remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Get over it and him and get on with your life. "Space" is a breakup that makes the girl think he's coming back at a future time but it never happens. Guys say that because it's a way to string her along so he can come back and fuck her when he can't find someone else


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