How do I get my boyfriend to break up with me?

I am depressed and have anxiety issues, along with having a lot of things going on in my life right. I'm in an online/long distant relationship with my boyfriend, who lives on the opposite side of the country. It has gotten serious with him since we've been dating for over a year now, but for a while now I've been wanting to end it. It was a relationship I shouldn't even have gotten into because I got into it directly after my last one. Our mutual friend had done everything in her power to bring us together and I felt a bit pressured into it.

Despite all of this, I don't want to to be the one to break up with him because I did that in my last relationship and I felt like shit for months after it. Heck, I even for guilty for just asking about this... but I can handle a relationship right now. I need to focus on helping myself right now. So... please help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if he's head over heels for you and he actually is committed to you he's not gonna give up on you so looks like your gonna have to step up and dump him.

    If your too polite and can't be blunt about it , just say you want a break and time to rethink about the relationship or make it seem like your done with the long term.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds just like me! Long distance, everything is the same including getting into this relationship right after a break up. Only difference is that it's been 3.5 years for me now. Anyway, what I'm going to start doing tomorrow is "ghosting" where I reply less and less frequently. I'll just say I'm busy with my classes and really stressed because of it, and eventually he will get annoyed/angry and there is a high chance he will break up. For me, I prefer him breaking up instead of me because he has deep depression issues and I'd rather have him strongly dislike me than to feel rejected and lost.

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    • Same. I'd rather him dislike me than think he's the problem when he's not.

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    • Same here, I understand, it's tough. As time goes on and you ghost more, hopefully things will turn out well :) ❤️

    • Hopefully lol

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Break. Up. With. Him.
    You don't want to do it because... bla bla bla.. dumbest thing I've heard. today, at least.

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  • Just make yourself not available for him, act distant from him
    You may need to do this in order to break it off from him.

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  • Stab him.

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  • Tell him what you basically said here.

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    • But then I'd be ending the relationship and I'd feel like crap

    • I gave you my opinion. It's up to you to take it or not.

    • True. Thank you anyway.

  • Get some medication and break up with him.

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  • Your a lesbian?

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    • Huh? No. Did I make a typo that made me sound such?

  • just send some ugly picture of yours

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  • If you do something to cause him to dislike you enough to want to break up with you then you will feel just as bad as if you broke up with him. That won't fix anything overall.

    It's a long distance relationship, it's not actually real. Just start dating other people, or stop replying so quickly.

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    • You say its not real, but for anyone who's been in these types of relationships, it it.

    • *it is

  • just send some ugly picture of yours

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    • He thinks any pic of me is beautiful or at least he says so. He has seen pics of me just waking up and no makeup and all that.

  • just talk to him with your depression and anxiety. soon he won't want to contact you cause your always such a no fun downer.

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    • I've already talk about it a bunch and he wants me to keep talking to him about it, even tries to force me to sometimes.

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    • Honestly I guess just start treating him like a freind. I'm not sure how to either. I'm trying to just stay freinds with a girl that I have had a crush on for a year. I asked her out and a day before our date she said that she just wants to remain freinds.

    • I wish I knew how to do it :/

What Girls Said 11

  • just act like a miserable bitch, he'll go away if you're sarcastic and mean enough

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    • I don't wanna be mean though...

    • well, then you're gonna have to be the one to break it off. he'll only dump you if you do something to push him away

  • Just let him know you're going through a really tough time with your mental health and you really need to take time to take care of yourself. If he really cares about you he will do what he can/ what you want to help you

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    • I just afraid he'll blame himself. He is pretty critical of himself and he'll feel like he didn't help enough.

    • Well let him know it's not his fault, you just need some time

    • He won't believe me... He's been like this since before I met him, since his best friend killed himself. Now he always pushes himself to help others and blames himself when things go wrong

  • When you guys are having sex, literally say " is it in yet ", and when he's moving " for real, stop playing when are you gonna actually put it in"

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  • So because of how YOU feel about things, you're going to be selfish and a bitch and start toying with some guys feelings until he breaks up with you... so you can just not have to feel bad about a relationship?

    Be an adult. Be mature. I respect you have problems and you are aware you can't handle a relationship right now. That's the first step in acting like an adult.

    And copying the girls reply from below? No, that is not what you said. You don't want him to leave you so he want blame himself, you just want to be selfish and blameless here and not have to feel bad.

    But just tell him what you said here. God.

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    • I am not toying with him; I'd never do that. I haven't done anything wrong, though I know this topic is. I know its bad. But this is hard for me. The whole relationship has been. And I know it will be hard for him no matter how it ends, but I'd rather him do it so he knows from the beginning its for the best and doesn't think the whole "should of done this/why did I do that" sort of thoughts. I know him and no matter what I say if I do the breaking up, he'll blame himself and I don't want that because this is not his fault; he has done nothing wrong. Its me. Its always been me and I just can't keep going like this.

  • Don't be selfish and don't lead the poor guy on. Dick Move.
    You go call him or meet him and you break it up, yourself

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    • l am not being selfish. No matter what I say, if I break up with him, he'll blame himself. I don't want that bc its not his fault.

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    • Just break up with him. Don't go through the trouble of hurting him to the point that he has to

    • He means well, but he can be pretty critical of himself sometimes.

  • Can everyone like this comment I need XP

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  • Bruh just break up with him...

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  • Be brutally honest and say bye bye.

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  • Don't be a manipulative wimp

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  • Just be honest about how you feel now, if you prolong this the guilt and lies might just build up.

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  • Don't make him break up with you, break up with him. Get some medication and maybe therapy. 👍

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    • I have both. I've been on meds for a while now and have been in and out of therapy (out mostly just to change therapists) for about 5 years now.

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