No emotional connection?

OK, so I have now had the "I really like you, but I just don't think I feel a strong emotional connection" bomb dropped on me four times in a row. The last two particularly hurt, since one was my fiancee who had started cheating on me, and the most recent was a girl that I was really crazy about, and it seemed like things had been progressing nicely. She said that she was confused, because she really likes me and likes spending time with me, and her pragmatic side wants to be with me, but she feels like there is a deep emotional connection lacking.

Has anyone else had experiences with this? It seems to be a pattern, but friends say that I shouldn't change anything about myself, that it is just that the girls aren't right. It has gotten to the point where it is very frustrating though. I feel like it is something that I have no way of controlling, and that bothers me. So if anyone else has experience with this, please let me know what your experiences have been. And if you say this to girls/guys that you are dating, can you maybe tell me why you feel that way?


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  • Here's some plausible reasons why:

    - They're cheating on you, and don't have a high sense of self-worth (Hmmm. ...)

    - Their own fear of progressing the comittment (Nearing marriage, etc)

    - You both have grown apart; where you or she changed from who you initially were.

    - Ulterior motives, they may be hiding the fact that it's not easy for them to break up with you; but maybe they feel the need because they found out they're moving in a week.

    etc

    In all the above situations, it's better to just smile and say: "Thank you for letting me know now, rather than letting this proceed longer. I respect that" ... Then just move on.

    It sucks. I'm certain that most all the experienced people have encountered this. Fortunately enough, we all continue to breathe; especially when times have us down or when fate seems to work against us.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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  • Well... I can somewhat relate to this, but I'm a bit younger...

    All the girls I like tend to feel an "emotional connection" with the bad boys. They seek out guys that get the girls all upset, or concerned about them. Like guys on drugs... its like the girl has to feel sorry or pity the guy and worry about him to think she's attracted to him. yuck!

    Its like I'm sorry you can't fix me... Sorry you don't feel sorry enough for me to go out with me :/

    It's just ridiculous... that's at least how it seems to me. I can act like a bad boy, speak what's on my mind, but yeah I'm generally a nice guy, polite, a little bit quiet... but I guess my reputation is too good for any girl to think I'm Boyfriend material, which is, flat-out, stupid.

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