Break-Ups, how do we get over people we have split from? What remedies do you use? Tips? Techniques?

Breaking up is never easy whether its you splitting up or them. But what do we do as women/men to get over the other person. How do they fade importance out of life. Do we see our friends more
? Eat chocolate? Deliberately do things that would knowingly annoy or aggravate the other person to really finalise it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The only thing that really works is time.
    Playing the old, "You hurt me so I am going to hurt you" only keeps your mind on that person. Let him/her go.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can only say this.

    There are no remedies for breakups. Techniques to use, or tips to follow and go by. Everybody have their own specifics needs that are different from everybody else. It depends on one's intentions, the severity of the breakup, how it happened, why and what did both parties do in the relationship that resulted in that.

    We can't just get over that person. You have to just do the basic steps of removing that person from your life. That means removing all items that they gave you. That includes,: jewelry, makeup, clothes, cards, movies, cd's, gifts, etc. That includes electronics as well. If it's photos that have you two together, rip it up, burn it and or throw it out. If on multimedia devices: delete every photo with them on it. Even if it's with you and friends. Or with him and your family. On social media, all of that must be deleted from every account. That includes their contacts. Block and delete them from there. Any contacts you have on your phone must be blocked and deleted as well after you send their stuff back if they gave you something personal of theirs. Make sure you have no physical film on DVD's, VHS, etc that has them on it. That also has to go.

    If you do end up crossing paths, you have the choice to say hi, if they respond, and give a gesture and walk away. No contact for more than 5 seconds.

    How you choose to handle the situation afterward depends on you. If its so bad that you can't handle it; schedule an appointment to speak with a professional therapist or counselor. It's always good to talk to a parent who is wise, and friends who are capable of being mature and giving you space. As well as not force you to do things you don't want to do or shove their views on you.

    Also, write down the things you done in your last relationship with that person, such as partying, drinking, sex, etc. Figure out what made the relationship fall apart, and make sure to eliminate that before you seek another relationship again. Always have time for yourself. And give yourself at least 3 months or more to settle down.

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    • There must be one specific thing that we all require that is the same in the instance of a break up? Could we make a remedie with added tips and demands that by the end of it all have we not only gotten over that person but we have also achieved things a long the way? xx

    • @dancinginthewind1

      Everything boils down to choices. We either let them go or keep them. If they were no good for us, then you have to make the difficult choices without fail. We all do not require the same thing. Some need's closure, others need's to just separate from them. The problem has a lot to do with sexual relationships and relationship where it was very physical. The more sexual and physical a relationship was, the harder it is to break off. The less physical to no sexual relationship, the easier it can be to remove yourself from the person. We can't just tell people what to do without knowing the full extent of their relationship. That also means talking about the difficult topics.

    • Hi ya dancinginthewind1 how are ya would you be interested in some photo email exchanges please let me know msward@hurontel. on. ca

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • Well as they say when you fall off a horse you MUST get right back on.. So i tend to start dating rather quickly.. For example i had a date the same night of my last breakup.. Also had sex with the new girl which i think helped.. And of course because i wanted to feel a nice surge of WINNING i casually ignored the woman i saw that night from then on

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    • As I've just said to someone previous is it a question of do you want a slow break up or a fast one -to mourn and respectfully be slow in getting over your ex or to quickly move on and make yourself feel better? xx

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    • Yes, my heart hurts when I do wrong sometimes lol, when I was younger I my heart was harder but I am glad God has softened it and I now can apologize and/or try to do right

    • @LoveHolyGod Your heart hurts because of the wrong you think you've done but there is no perfect way only the comforts zones which god presents each ones us some comfortable to break the rules and the other one comfortable to set the rule. Apologizing was always the hardest one for me lol xx

  • The best way to get over it is to do something or change something in your life that makes you a better person and builds your self value.

    The thing is if you are better than before then realistically it's really their loss because they liked you even before.

    Ex: eat healthier, learn something you always wanted to learn, fitness, quit smoking, etc.

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  • I used to simply just get another one. After the last one I simply got some hobbies and have stayed single ever since. I viewed relationships as a bad habit and used the same techniques I used to quit smoking. Smoke- and relationship-free for 11 years and counting now.

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  • There are no magic pills you could take. But in my experience, the best way to get over it is to change your life. Do new things, go to new places, take courses in new areas.

    Stay away from the ex in every way-- that's why going to new places is important.

    Stay mentally as busy with new ideas and challenges.. volunteer at a homeless shelter where you deal with worse problems than a break-up!

    If still can't help thinking about the past, professional counseling is needed, BESIDES the above.

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  • Time, give it some time, Time almost heals everything

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  • I have noticed over the years that women usually get over their break-up by sleeping with the ex's best friend or friends don't you ladies

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  • No contact rule.

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  • Don't do anything jerky just to get closure.

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  • Build a race car.

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  • I am staying single less hassle

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  • Wish I knew...

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    • Are you going through a breakup at the moment? Sorry if this isn't an easy question to answer xx

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    • Well if you need anyone to talk to and to discuss this topic further don't hesitate message me its good getting different opinions and maybe the first step for you talking about it xx

    • Thanks that's very sweet of you :)

What Girls Said 7

  • People tend to feed memories by remincising and holding onto things of sentimental value. The best way to let go and move on is to cut all means of contact , and remove all traces of the person from your life. i. e delete messages and delete pics etc. Gradually feelings fade and the pain eases.

    Making new plans for the future is necessary too. Keeping your mind focused and yourself active will help to prevent you from constandtly dwelling on what" was" and what" should've /could've "been

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  • Try to come to a complete state of contentment and acceptance with your current self. You will find happiness again.
    But, I can't tell you you ever fully "get over someone." Each ex I thought was gunna be my forever (there was about 20) each moment we had together is a memory now.

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  • For me the thing that helped was time. Of course you go on living your life, but no matter how much change was happening in my life (new job), being w/friends, etc, I couldn't stop thinking about my ex. Some days were better then others, as time passed, I thought about him less and less. I fought hard for my relationship, but broke it off when I saw that my ex wasn't willing to treat me w/love and respect. After a couple months of not being even remotely interested in any guys, I got excited over a good looking guy ( pathetic I know), this was when I knew I would be ok. A year later, I still remember my ex, but I am starting a new relationship where I have deep feelings for my boyfriend. There is no perfect formula, people deal w/loss differently, some better then others.

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  • travel and met new people, enjoy new culture, new scenery
    you will be good

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  • Let reality sink in, accept it, and do your best to move forward.

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  • - Don't contact them
    - Don't look at their social media
    - Avoid glorifying the relationship you had, think about only the bad times because ultimately that's why you broke up
    - Try to distract yourself by dating, but this doesn't mean just jump in to bed with other people, this could make you feel a lot worse, just simply date to take your mind off things

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  • I talk to my friends more than usually. They also want to listen to me and help me by being there for me. I wish there was some magical trick that can erase the pain of a hard break up, but there isn't. Things that usually help me are binge watching series I love or some new series, focusing on myself and what I wanted to do but never had the time, like finally doing those yoga classes or learning something new. That's something that may not instantly make me feel better, as comfort food would, but after a while I begin to feel better and less preoccupied with the thoughts about the break up

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    • Do you think there could be a To Do Guide to make it easier? What to do things would you do or say to do to try and get over the other person xxx

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    • I guess I want to feel better, but it doesn't have to be as quickly as possible. I take my time, but I focus on my well-being. There is time to think about previous relationships in a less painful and more "we had a nice time" way, but it's definitely not after the break up itself.

    • Yes I think for women and maybe some men we like to make sure that time didn't go to waste and therefore we try to keep hold the good times and cherish them rather than shutter it and erase it all xx

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