My girlfriend is sending me mixed signals. Need advice?

I was dating a girl for about 5 months, things seemed to be going great, or at least I thought. She introduced me to her mom a few weeks ago, invited me to Thanksgiving, and mentioned she wanted to move in together this spring when her lease ends. About 2 weeks ago, she asked me to stay at her place 3 nights. On the third night we went on a double date with her friends, and on our way home, she suddenly tells me that she isn't sure how she feels about me and is worried that she thinks her feelings should be stronger for me by now. After telling me this, she asks me if I want to stay the night. Then she calls me the next day to ask if I was avoiding her (I was respecting her need for space). She then calls me a couple of more times during the week. Then this weekend she stops by my house to bring me some of my stuff that I had left at her place. While she is at my place, she straddles me and starts kissing me. Then she asks me out to dinner, where she asked me to kiss her multiple times. The next morning she calls me to tell me she is still unsure how she feels about me. What should I do?

Any thoughts on why she is sending mixed signals?

Why would she want to spend time with me and would kiss me if she is unsure about me?

Should I just not contact her? She is starting a new job on Monday so I am not sure if I should wish her luck or wish her a happy Thanksgiving next week.

I care about her and would like her back in my life but not sure how to get her back.
Thank you for all of the feedback. It is very helpful. I just find it confusing when she tells me that I am everything she wants in a guy and how great I treat her and she knows that I was looking forward to a future with her (I would tell her how I felt when she brought up the topic). When I asked her why she was having doubts, she would just say "I don't know. This always happens. I just know I should have stronger feelings by now." So that makes me feel lost when I talk with her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think some people have this idea of what love and romance "should" be and work up that image in their mind. It seems like she might have reflected on that ideal and compared her feelings to that and had a moment of uncertainty.
    I'd ask her about it - you don't deserve to feel unsure or like you're being played but from your there descriptions she sounds into you

    • I can't figure out if she is playing me or not. It all just seems very odd. I can't figure out why she pursues me then runs. I know she seems conflicted. But it's hard to get answers out of her to determine if she is genuinely confused or if she is just using me to fill a void.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think that after 5 months if she's still unsure of whether she wants to be with you or not, it's going to end one way or another. You may as well break up and move on.

    I don't have much experience with this, but if she is around your age, she might be sick of having failed boyfriends, especially if she wants to find someone to settle down with and have children with soon. This could be part of why she is confused.

  • I think she is confused because objectively, on paper, you're totally the right guy for her, but she doesn't feel that spark people are looking for... so he is trying to force it because she wants to feel that way about you but she just doesn't.

  • It seems to me like she WANTS to have stronger feelings for you so she is pushing herself to make it happen. If she really didn't want to be with you she would've ended it. I say ask to take a break. The break will make her realize one way or another and the mixed signals will end. Good luck


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