Break up; girl need a break?

My girl needed a break and broke up with me. She was undergoing too much stress and thought I was making our relationship serious especially the fact that we've only dated for a month and a half (the farthest we ever got was making out, lame, amiright).

To be completely honest, we were a good couple. We were good to each other, we had no arguments, we had fun. I'm wondering if I could try again when she settles her problems down.

And I know, I shouldn't make a decision on whether I should get back with her or not until I'm over her. In case I do decide to get back, can you guys and gals give me some advice and what to do to win her back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Eh I would move on, if someone wants a break from you 99.9% of the time that just equals a break up. If she wanted to be w/you, no amount of stress or life issues would keep her from being w/you. More then likely she just doesn't want to be tied down. Waiting for a person to be ready is painful and I would suggest not waiting. I dated a guy for month before we went long distance, he gave me the same BS excuses and wanted me not to date other guys. He did not contact me for 3 months, in that time I found another guy who really cares for me. The 1st guy messaged me hoping to have another chance, I shut him down.

    • I wouldn't say she wanted to break from me 99.9% of the time. Hell, I chased her for a year before we dated. Even before we dated we acted like a couple but she was afraid of that because she didn't want us to mess things up. She's a very independent woman but she's also very sensitive. Also, I was both our first relationship so we didn't know what we were doing. Maybe that was it and she just wasn't prepared. Maybe if we have a second chance we'll know what to expect.

    • You chased her for a year? Doesn't sound like she is super enthusiastic about you, she is even wanting to take a break from you. Sorry to break it to you, no one who wants to be in a relationship w/a certain person takes a break so early on. In the beginning that is when couples don't have issues. The guy I dated also didn't want to "mess things up", he didn't want to "break my heart". If you choose to wait for her, you may be waiting a long time or she finds someone else. Don't make excuses for her behavior, she is just leaving you hanging, bottom line. No matter what stress I am going through, if I care for a guy and he cares for me, I'm not gonna break up w/him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Man, you are suppose to make her problems easier to deal with and be emotionally supportive. Currently you were considered a problem or trouble.
    Think about what you were not doing and what you were.
    Did you respect her space, want to let her express herself, were you willing to offer a shoulder, etc, etc.

    Think of what went wrong, figure out if you can correct that and talk to her about it.

    • Okay, yeah, I was there for her, I let her express herself, I offered her a shoulder, but I guess I didn't respect her space. She felt that I didn't give her enough space to herself, she wanted to figure her own problems by herself.

      If we were to get back together, I believe I would need to take it slow, give her space but be there for support. She's a very independent women but very sensitive.

    • When I was talking about space, I meant not being needy as in trying to see her at every moment.
      If a woman breaks up with you because she wants space usually she isn't talking about it being hard to get a fresh breath of air without you. It usually means she doesn't like the time while she is with you or is not enjoying you. I never has anything about wanting to be alone. No one wants to be alone through their problems but they don't want more stress.

      Or in the most evil case "she likes someone else"

      It's really tough to figure out why women lose attraction for men because sometimes they can love you for one reason then months later have zero respect for you because of that SAME thing.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she didn't see it as something serious and thought you two were moving too fast for such an early relationship. Give it time, give yourself a break and do you. If you two are meant to be then something will bring you back together where you can try again and learn from your previous mistakes but until then, don't dwell on it and be happy that the breakup was soon into the relationship and that there wasn't TOO much damage to be done

    • Yeah, I told her that I would go slow but I didn't really follow that through. I can't blame her really, I've known her for a long time before I dated her and I know that she's a very sensitive girl. I talked to her before we would give ourselves some space and we both agreed that we need some space to think before we decides whether we want to be friends again or something more. Honestly, I've been looking around for a long time and this girl is special to me and I've been chasing her for a year before we dated. I have my hope but I am skeptical. Thanks!

    • Stay positive! And just do you for now. The best things happen unexpectedly :)

    • Thank you!

What Guys Said 1

  • no contact for a month wait until she breaks it. keeping it light when she breaks NC dont be her safety net if she is looking to ride a bunch of dicks. Start hanging around of bunch of girls as well Pretty ones as well. Good luck

    • I agree with you about the waiting a month thing and trying to get her break the no contact thing. We hang out with the same people so we will have plenty of opportunities to talk and interact when the time comes. But honestly, she's not the player type. I'm the first person she has dated and I doubt she's going to find someone new in the next couple months, but who knows, maybe my best friend will steal my ex.

      One question, what if it has been 1 and a half months and she still hasn't broken no contact or we talk but not a whole lot. Would it be necessary for me to break no contact? Just knowing her, she's not really confident when it comes to this stuff, maybe I'm wrong.

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