How did you deal with your first heartbreak?

Because I feel like I'm going to die.
I first dealt with it by talking to my friends and crying for like an hour until I couldn't physically cry anymore.
Then I spent 2 hours doing homework so I could get my mind off of it and it worked.
Thing is I just finished all my homework & I'm realizing what has happened. And It feels horrible. It's a pain in my chest and tears just keep flowing and my heart is pounding so fast. I didn't mean to be all dramatic but that is literally how I feel right now. Then I think about it, & I'm wondering, what am I going to do now? How will I deal with so much pain? I don't know how people do it tbh. I obviously know that life goes on but I also know that it won't be the same and that scares me.
I was already feeling super depressed and obviously this will make my depression even worse.
I keep trying to think of the positives, of all the lessons this made me learn (some of them the hard way)
& in a way I'm happy because I used to not believe in love. & I didn't think I'd ever be capable of falling in love and actually feeling heartbreak over losing someone. So hey, at least now I know that I do have feelings, right? Who knew.


0|0
1427

Most Helpful Guy

  • Stopped working out. Cried. Beat myself up mentally over what I should have said/did. Prayed for her. Went out driving to clear my head. Hungout with my bestfriend. After a week of feeling like shit I said enough was enough. Started working out again. Played basketball with friends. Focused on getting back to living life. Talking to friends and hanging out. 3 weeks later decided I'd try to get her back. She was on the fence and had to think about it, even tho she wanted me back.

    I ended up going out on a group date and a guy who liked my ex saw me out with another girl. So he immediately turned around to tell my ex about it. She was shut down emotionally from then on. We talked about it and she was upset. Ended up fighting over it and didn't get back together because of it.

    Went through the same process again lol. I didn't try again with her this time. Just moved on best I could. I'd say it was a good year before I was really over her. I started dating again 2 months after we broke up tho. Because what else was I supposed to do.

    1|0
    0|0
    • All the problems in relationships can be summarised like this: the purpose of a relationship is finding someone that likes you as you are, instead of pursuing people that don't.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in shock and denial for a good 4 months then depression kicked in and now acceptance and moving on is slowly starting to happen.. It takes time man and it's going to hurt for a real long time but eventually you'll find he's not on your mind as much anymore, you start smiling a little more genuinely, and slowly but surely you'll realize the love you have to give will be so worth it with the right person and it's not him. It's a process is all I can say. Some days are good some days are bad but such is life and trust me when I say that better days are coming.

    2|2
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • i really tried to surround myself with friends and family who loved me. do activities with people so i didn't dwell on the heart break

    but the simple fact is that, especially early on, it is always hard to get through.

    being with people who care about you reminds you that you are loved and they can help just divert you mind from what you are going through.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Drugs, friends, video games, rebounds, SH, then more drugs, is how I dealt with it. Although, getting a new girlfriend helped a lot more than anything.

    I would recommend keeping occupied and being around friends. Also the proverbial gallon of ice cream.

    1|0
    0|0
  • best thing to do after a breakup is searching a new guy, i will not tell u to get into relationship again. but while searching for a new guy u may come across some guys who are better than ur ex and that feels really gud and u can get over with ur relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Concentrate on the positives. Because you had no experience, you fell for the wrong person in the wrong situation

    This won't happen since now you have experience.

    When you start feeling bad, think this way, of how the future will be better.

    And think of all the people who are worse off, locked in a marriage with the wrong person!!! For years, with kids involved...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I kind of reacted with bewilderment at the look of expectation of the first girl's face that I should somehow be upset that she broke up with me. I don't really understand the idea that I could actually be hurt by such a thing very well. It's like, if you're ACTUALLY stupid enough to think you can do better than me, you're WAY too stupid to be of any interest to me, so you just did me a favor, saving me from wasting any more time with you. Only thing that really ever bothered me was that I'd have up to that point rewarded such an idiot with the privilege of my presence in their lives for any amount of time.

    I did rather enjoy one girlfriend several years ago. Took me almost an entire evening to forget about her, but then I put on a movie and I was fine.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nothing you can do, really.

    Even if you keep busy, reflect on it, etc, dealing w/ heartbreak is just something that has to come naturally. Slow or fast. Hard or easy. Permanent or fluctuated.

    Everyone deals w/ heartbreak differently. As long as you dont do self-destructive things and still keep an open heart eventually, you'll be good.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Not sure if other people would count it as heartbreak, cause it was only a crush, and probably only on my end...
    But yeah I haven't dealt with it. Can't get over her.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Ooh. I identify, and I didn't even suffer a real heartbreak, just a terrible rejection. Hang in there. Time heals all wounds, and this sounds like something you can't speed up.
    However, try something out. Reflect on your anguish, try to frame it, and eventually try to understand it. Once you accept it, you can move on.

    1|0
    0|0
  • well, that didn't last long.

    The first 1-2 days are the worst. time will help.
    don't think too much about it, just makes it worse... try to distract yourself, ideally something where you are not alone and have to actively participate. like do some sports with someone together, play videogames etc.

    If you are by yourself you have way too much time to think about it, which only hurts and drags it out

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know, it was expected but still 😌 Thanks for the advice

    • if chitchat with some weirdo helps... you know where to find me lol.

      (just not now...6am, bed calling haha)

  • I have experienced that and it was the worst experience in my life by far, and it lasted a year and a half. So hellish.

    This is how you get over it: you assume that what has happened is horrible, and you promise yourself that you will make your life beautiful no matter of what happens to you.

    That the purpose of a relationship is finding someone that likes you as you are, instead of pursuing people that don't.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You just gotta power through. There is nothing anyone can tell you here to make you feel better. Just keep living your life, keep doing stuff, even new stuff and give it time. When you actually realize you can feel good without the pother person, thats when healing begins

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've never dealt with a heartbreak since I've been the one breaking up in all of my relationships.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would recommend you take your mind off of it by focusing on other things in life that are more important.

    1|0
    0|0
  • by time

    2|0
    0|0
  • Chill cutie
    Everything's gonna be alright
    And when it becomes alright, make it awesome 💁 😉

    1|0
    0|0
  • i was devastated, but eventually i moved on

    1|0
    0|0
  • I felt the same as you about seven years ago. I felt pains to the chest and that I failed at life. I did not cry but I was never so sad in my life. People try to talk to me about it but I was too angry to listen. I never got over that girl but I have learned to live with not being happy. I hope you find someone or something that you love that will help you overcome your heartbreak.

    0|1
    0|0
  • A few years of self-loathing, drinking, and eventual getting out again

    1|0
    0|0
  • It was mostly lust. But I just more on. To many beautiful women out here to worry about Just one chick.

    0|0
    0|0
  • stay positive!! message me i will make u feel better i promise!! =)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I realized that I should never let myself get emotionally attached to anyone no matter what because I know I could and would potentially lose them at any time unexpectedly. It's all deep emotional attachments, it will take some time to readjust to forget about them and move on, because whatever it is that had happened, had already happened, you can't rewind and go back in time to change things so that you can be together, again. Because it's just that, it's reality.

    Once it's over, it's over, though very very rarely sometimes people may end up reunited and together again, but don't look forward to it.

    Instead keep going forward and change your priorities and focus on other things that are much more important right now than the emotions you are feeling because of losing somebody. Focus on your health.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I had her killed.

    I was a silly 15 year old boy then.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Unfortunately, a lot of guys drink till they don't have her on his mind. Don't for one second believe that men don't feel just as hurt as women because it does really damn hurt from body to soul. Your 18 and another guy is out there with a heart full of love to give. Please don't think you won't fall in love again because a lot of guys want to have a good girl that can love someone as much as you can. Stay strong, don't lose your standards and please don't use drugs or alcohol. stay strong

    1|0
    0|0
  • My ex fiancee dumped me for a more successful man. I started a relationship with her younger hotter sister eventually marrying her. My ex is now single and in her thirties with low prospects as a single mom, she acts all butthurt at her sister for getting with me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I know what you must be going through and the best part is that everyone has gone through this at some stage of their life. Just remember that it makes you a better person. Dealing with it won't be easy but hey you have feelings!
    Ways to get over it:

    Cry as much as you can.

    Its a natural process don't cut yourself from others. Go out even if you don't feel like it.

    Don't forget to work out. Continue to work everyday.

    Think of it as an opportunity for self-reflection.

    Talk to gagers they are nice people!

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 13

  • Losing someone you felt such a strong attachment to is painful. There's no way around it. Let yourself cry when you feel the need. Let yourself feel the pain. Then, make yourself busy. My first heartbreak happened when i was 16. I listened to music, hung out with friends (not talking about my break up) and got a new pet. i still had moments when the pain would rush in, but those periods got shorter and shorter. These things take time. just avoid telling yourself negative things like not wanting to love again or that you don't know how you'll be happy again. You will love again and you will be happy. You will survive. Keep yourself positive and you'll heal much faster.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I cried, and... I don't know. I just accepted it. It's hard for me to become romantically attached so my previous mini-heartbreaks weren't anything like actual tragedies I've had in my life. I was just able to move on. I have been upset that things didn't work out with guys before, and it upset me but again, I kind of just moped then picked myself up, accepted there was nothing I could do and moved on.

    I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's honestly all about time and doing things to make that time pass more easily. Vent to people, but don't overdue it. Do things to keep yourself busy. Don't check on his social media. The typical stuff. Then one day you'll wake up and suddenly realize you're completely over this guy. Feel free to vent below if you need though :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well if it makes you feel any better my first heartbreak was when my boyfriend of 3 years started up a relationship and sex with a girl he told me was a friend and he dated her for 6 months while with me and told her all these horrible things about me (she's so obsessed with me, you're so much better/prettier than her, etc.) then after we made him choose he chose her. So whatever you're going through just think it could always be worse. Also that was years ago that that happened and I'm awesome now :) feelings change. Sadness fades. Life goes on. You don't need a man to make you happy. No matter how awful you feel now, it always gets better. Good luck!!

    1|0
    0|0
  • A broken heart is one of the worst feelings. Although you may feel like you will die you won't. You seem to have other focuses and goals in your future. Foucusing on them will allow time to pass and your heart to heal. Another coping mechanism that tends to work for some is go through a "hoe" phase. To get over someone, get under

    1|0
    0|0
  • Keep busy, keep a strong support system, but most of all totally let the person who broke your heart GO! Block them off of all social media. You can't see them daily and keep up with them and move on. To move on you have to let go. It is painful, but not near as painful as staring at them moving on with their lives. Go make a new life, get new friends, and try new things. You are young, and you might experience a broken heart several times over. I am over twice your age, and my heart has been broken too! Trust me, and best of luck

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Heartbreak is terrible. You're going to be fine. Even though you are upset now, it's ok, we are humans and humans have emotions. After some time it will pass.

    1|0
    0|0
  • "After your first heart break you might think your life is over, but it's SO not... Someone much better will come along."

    During that sorta harsh period, I tried to talk to other guys for a distraction. Haha!

    Also, time brings all things to pass. Time heals all wounds.

    1|0
    0|0
  • The first week I couldn't stop crying, literally I was crying night and day, I could not even eat, then i started to feel better and able to sleep and eat.
    It's been like more than a year and I could cry right now if i look a picture of that guy

    1|0
    0|0
  • I still haven't gotten over it? It's been over a year :/

    1|0
    0|0
  • ı did nothing just let it go

    1|0
    0|0
  • Things like this makes me scared to fall in love.

    1|0
    0|0
  • did nothing

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...