Why am I avoiding him?

Anonymous
I dated this guy for one month. He was my first date, first kiss, first hand holding, first everything.. except sex ( I am stil virgin). We broke up... well, it was him who put an end to it and did not even tell me why. He let me know, by blocking me on social media. Since this happened... two months ago I have wished and dreamed about seeing him at least once again. I dont know why. Maybe I want an explication, maybe I still feel something for him and hope we will start once again... I dont know, but I do wish to see him once again. The thing is, I noticed that everytime I have a feeling I will see him in a place , I dont go that place. Once, I saw a guy and believed it was him. I was sure it is him... but I crossed the street to avoid him. So what is this? Why I wanna see him, but do everything to avoid him?
Why am I avoiding him?
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