I'm not sure if I'm not over her or I'm just not over the situation. After the divorce she was playing a lot of hot and cold games and using me to rant her loneliness then suddenly she got a boyfriend and instantly treated me like a disease by hiding everything from me.
I do video chat for my son weekly (he's 5).
It's been 3yrs - I've tried everything.
2yr ago I started to work out hard, stop smoking, eat healthy.
None of this helped. The moment I stop what I am doing I am depressed and lonely.
-Since the divorce, no friends, no dates, developed a real bad social anxiety. I see an appealing woman it's just depressing.
-Last month I said I can't do video chat anymore. It hurts way too much. I'm a deadbeat and I feel guilt for it.
-Every weekend I go downtown looking for violence. I'm always in pain. Hands swollen and cut up, limping from a foot injury, face is hurts. I have vicious road rage, I'm basically on self destruct here and I do it on purpose.
-Every night I hope I won't wake up.
-I consider prostitution but I only want to take them for coffee.
-Women are the answer to everything I do. My clothing, my workout routine, etc is all for someone. I F-ing PLUCK my eyebrows.
I'm spending X-mas ALONE. I have NO friend contacts on my phone either.
-I have suicide all figured out.
I take value that I am loyal, have empathy, am emotional supportive, faithful, and sensitive but then I look around and see that women do not really like that so then I'm upgrading my ride and my body. I'm too sick to be with a woman anyway. If I meet a woman she's just going to see my shaky hands and my sad excuse of a life and walk.
I have A lot of money but it doesn't keep me happy.
Any advice or am I done here?
Most Helpful Girl
You've been through so much, so I think it's very understandable that you're living this way right now. Almost on self destruct really. It's crazy, but we as people, often something that fucks us up, we go on self destruct and fuck ourselves up more.
Please though, don't look for a woman right now. Focus on you. Focus on feeling better. Right now, it's way to easy to meet a woman who will take advantage of a kind empathetic man whos going through so much mentally. It's too easy.
You don't need a woman right now anyway. When you start feeling better within yourself, getting a woman will be much easier too.
For the loneliness, have you considered joining some class of something you enjoy? Or volunteering somewhere? The volunteering is not only a way to meet new people and have some time to socialise, but also a way to help you feel better sometimes.
Please, stop fighting! You've got a son who needs you. He doesn't need some dude his mum chose to shack up with, he needs his daddy. Don't let anything happen to yourself.
You know, with depression, many often forget, that once it runs deep enough, that it can come with physical pain too. So many depressed people have bad back pain, or always have migraines, always feel sick, all different pain really.
I think it's perfectly normal and understandable that you've been on a downward spiral. You got married. You had a baby. Your ex wife kept you around for her own means til somebody else came along then she just dropped yiu... and much more to add to that list of reasons... but yea, i think it's definitely understandable why you're feeling like this.
I think now, it's just about trying to dig out of this hole you're in. And there is a way out. And trying to build a stronger relationship with your son. I know you're feeling lonely sometimes, but women don't matter right now. Just focus on yourself, and then your son for now.
It is hard, and it can be a long road, but you need to learn to love yourself again. I've seen your opinions on here before and you seem a fantastic guy with so much wisdom to share, anybody would be lucky to know you, you need to start remembering that and learning to appreciate and love yourself, and then you can allow a woman to.
I know it seems hopeless right now, but trust me, there is more to come. Life isn't over, and there is a way out.