Which phrase should I tell this guy who's a mutual friend of a friend that I no longer wish to have contact with?

A few months ago John* tried to get with Kate*. At the time I met John he didn't know that I was friends with Kate. I only know he tried to pursue Kate because she sent me screen shots asking what she should do (she said he's cool as a friend, nothing more) so when he tried to approach me soon afterwards I know essentially I was the plan B and brushed off his advances. I told him I know all about him trying Kate and how I'm obviously lower on his priority list, the fallback girl but he denied it!

After him relentlessly asking for my # I gave in so he'd leave me alone! But I told him as friends. Now he's constantly texting me and I realize that I don't want him in my life as even a friend. I wouldn't mind saying hello if I happen to see him around campus.

I'm not one to let things fade out because it never works for me. Here are the two phrases I've come up with to text or say over the phone but if you have anything better please feel free to share.

First: John, I'm not a good friend and you deserve better. I hope you find what you are looking for. Please
do not contact me anymore.

Second: John, we don't have enough in common to even be friends. I hope you find what you are looking for. Please do not contact me anymore.

*names have been changed
  • the first (say he deserves better)
    Vote A
  • the second (say we're not compatible)
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you not want to be friends with him because he is texting you like crazy or is it another reason? If it's reason one then tell him to quit blowing up your phone every day. Then if he still doesn't stop that's when you tell him that you can't be friends with him and hope he gets the hint as to why.

    • I didn't want to be friends with him anymore because I noticed he lies too much and I don't want that kind of person in my life.
      I was the sort of lies people use to make themselves appear better and I just can't. I've had female friends like that and it was a toxic friendship.

      All is good now, I told him the latter reason and all he said was "ok"
      Then a few minutes later he texted "I was just trying to be friends anyways"

    • I can see why you wouldn't want to be friends with him then. No one likes or needs people like that around.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guy came up to me last night at the club. We actually had a lot in common and he was nice to talk to, but I just wasn't interested in him. He started getting all needy sounding and talking about how he probably wouldn't ever see him again. I didn't want to give him my number, so I finally just said, "You're a nice guy, you really are, but I'm just not the girl for you." He got right up and walked away, didn't even want to talk as friends anymore.

    Guys want you to be honest if you don't like them. If you are nice to them, but make it clear you're not compatible, then they'll get the message clearly.

    • Glad you didn't give in.
      This guy is clingy and tried insulting me in the past (I guess to bring me down a notch) but he's funny and kinda sensitive so I didn't wanna out right harshly reject him.

    • Show All
    • No problem. I've noticed a lot of people in this site are just having a hard time making a decision or need the right motivation to do something. You're not alone in that here.

    • I just wanted to be nicer since there's a chance I'll see him around campus but all he replied was
      Then a minute "I was just trying to be friends"

      Which is total BS because a few days ago when he was pressing for my # he kept trying to look longing in my eyes, call me pretty and say he wants to rtake me out. When he got my number through my friend a few days all he texted was "wyd" or "how ae u" and kept misspelling almost every word so I just couldn't.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • You don't really owe an explanation just let it fizzle out

  • A combo of both a and b

  • Honesty is the best policy

  • Let him down easy with the first one


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