my heart just hurts every day. he wanted to just be friends, but hasn't really reached out. and i'm just sitting here all the time hoping he will. i don't want to anymore. i want to move on. i want to forget all of the the fun memories i had with him. but i can't and it's driving me crazy and making me sad all of the time. he was so amazing. the perfect guy. i'm broken. :( can anyone offer advice of what to do? i don't want to feel like this all Christmas season... it's supposed to be a happy time of year. and he left me to go be happy in his own life while i sit here feeling awful.
Most Helpful Guy
He said that he wanted to be friends but clearly he just wanted to be out of the relationship. You don't really want to be friends either, you're not grieving for a friend, you are grieving for a partner. If he were to get in touch as a friend then it would only remind you that he wasn't yours anymore. That is no good to you right now. The separation seems brutal but it's what you need, because you can't get over him while he's still around.
The pain is horrible, there's no point in pretending any different. It feels like hell, but it's a normal and very necessary part of healing. You should remember that. You cannot remove something so deep rooted without it being painful. Your body is ridding itself of all those emotional toxins and you will suffer for a while during that process. The process will end though, you WILL feel better. You just have to stay focused on that truth. Try and keep yourself busy, get yourself up and out of the house even if you don't feel like it. It's important that you start to fill the gaps in your day and your routine. The sooner it feels normal for him to not be around the better. Don't allow your brain to wallow in memories, fight against those memories. They will keep trying to break through but keep knocking them back. If you have any of his things or any physical reminders, get rid of them or at least lock them away in storage. You need to push the reminders away from you, not hang on to them
Don't deconstruct yourself either. Don't waste precious time and energy on trying to work out everything that went wrong. We can't be all things to all people, as much as we might like to be. Sometimes we just cannot hold on to someone because they don't want to be held on to. We have to let them go and we have to let the blame go.0
Most Helpful Girl
Remember you are still you - the whole person you were before you met him. You enjoyed Christmas before he even existed in your life and you will again. Listen to the music - let it heal and comfort you. Enjoy your family and friends who love you unconditionally. If you were meant to be with him he wouldn't have left you. You will be okay. This is out of your control and that is what makes it so hard. But life is full of things happening that are out of our control. We must realize this and accept it. Believe that you are meant for something greater.0