How do you know it was for the best?

My (ex) boyfriend and I would've been together for 3 years in January but we broke up this morning. I found myself getting mad at him all the time and for random things. He doesn't really know what he wants to do with his life for one, he's 25 and I'm 23. He lives with his dad and said he wasn't planning on leaving until he graduates, which will be many years because he only takes 1-2 classes per semester due to cost. I will be graduating from graduate school in 2019, and will already be looking into marriage. I never saw him being ready for that much less the rest of our lives together. Anything we would ever do I would find a way to get mad at him. He looked at me the wrong way, said a joke at an inappropriate time, didn't wear the right thing to meet my family, had the opportunity to surprise me with something and didn't, etc. I was always expecting more from him. I always thought he's not as busy as me, so why not dedicate his free time to making me happy? I know I have things to work on too. He told me that he never felt good enough and that he was tired of fighting. I agree with him in that many times I just let stuff go on because I was being bratty. Now that we are over I feel bad and regretful. I want to work on myself and come back to him, but I know that things happen for a reason and maybe in some (emphasis on SOME) situations I was okay to ask or even bug him about doing something for me. I don't know right now who's right or wrong. Me for being too demanding or him for not finding compromises with me and just saying I want too much

I want to know if I should try to contact him and stay friends, with the hope that I can work on myself and he work on himself. Maybe each of us will date someone else short term then we can eventually see that we want/don't want eachother. Or, should I just let him be free from me and work on myself for the next person I date.


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What Guys Said 2

  • At his age, he should be focusing on his career. I understand that college isn't cheap (far from it). I don't know how many units he has under his belt, but only taking 1-2 classes per semester just isn't going to cut it. At that rate, he'll be dead before he graduates. His lack of ambition and drive throws up a red flag. Perhaps you both should take a break from each other and focus on your priorities. If you end up with nothing in common, perhaps it is time to move on.

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    • How long of a break do you recommend? Weeks, months, years? I don't want to rush back into anything and I want both of us to have time to realize what we want

    • You can't set a time limit. Let nature take its course.

  • One word,
    YOU DON'T OWN HIM.
    and he is not your servant either always looking for ways to please you. He is not taking education seriously but you are asking to much and giving scolding in return. He is actually good man that he survived for 3 years, trust me 3 years is rare thing.

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