Most Helpful Girl
I had my first break up when I was 14, it drove me into a deep depression but I wouldn't say it was the main factor it's just what tipped me over the edge. I relied on him too much, he was my rock and the only friend I had... when he broke up with me my world shattered. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't stop thinking about him and at one point I couldn't even breathe.
At the time it felt like I would never get over him, that he was the only one for me and that's probably what you feel like right now.
I'm 22 now, I haven't seen him since I was 17. He still crosses my mind once in a while but none of the pain of the memory of the break up is there.
I just thought I'd share my experience to let you know that those painful feelings don't last forever. Cry your heart out little man, and once you're all done vow that you won't cry about it again. Give yourself some time and space and yes I know it's very tempting to message her, I made the mistake of sending him several texts and it just drove him away and hurt me more. But also give her some time and space, it'll help her and you figure out what you both really want1
Most Helpful Guy
What you do is be patient and give it time. It's going to hurt, it's supposed to hurt. As I said to someone yesterday, your mind and body are ridding themselves of a whole load of emotional toxins. It's part of the healing process. Imagine having a tumour that has to be removed. It can't be removed without some discomfort, that's just the way it is. Something so deep rooted and powerful takes time and discomfort to rid yourself of it.
There is a time for just holing up and feeling like crap. Usually the first week or so. Then after that you need to drag yourself up and out. You need to keep busy, you need to see friends. Even if you don't feel like it you need to do it. You need to start filling all those gaps in your day that she will have left. At first it's like going through the motions but after a while your routine will no longer be centred around her and your day won't miss her so much.
Keep focused on the fact that this will get better, because it will. Allow yourself a week or so of reflecting on things but after that you need to fight off the intrusive thoughts and memories. Don't waste time on all the whys and what ifs, they are pointless. If you have any of her things then lock them away somewhere or get rid of them. Don't keep yourself tied to the trauma indefinitely.1