How do I let go of the past?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eleven months. A few months into our relationship he told me that he still had feelings for her but he loved me but that he might go back out with her if we ever broke up. This really upset me and I cried all night and wouldn't even speak to him. We finally worked that out though and about 5 months ago he finally said that he was over her and that he only wanted me. He says he never texts her anymore which I believe because I've been through his phone(I know it was wrong so please don't preach to me about that). So I know now that he only has feelings for me, his best friend even said that he doesn't like her anymore. However after going through so much regarding this subject it is so hard for me to get over it and forget about it. Just the thought of everything he put me through about her makes me so sad even though all the pain is gone, I still have the memories. It seems like I am always suspecting something, I know he never cheated but I just can't seem to forget what happened in the past and I want to. People tell me I should've dumped him but I didn't because I lived him.I'm sorry this is so long but how can I just move on from the past and be happy with my boyfriend now? I don't want to keep thinking about his former feelings for her and how much it hurt me. Can someone please tell me how I might be able to finally move past my anger and sadness for what happened months ago? I don't want these feelings to ruin the great relationship I have now with him because I love him so much. Any advice is appreciated, thanks:)

Sorry at the beginning, I mean to say he told me he still had feelings for his ex that he had only been with for two months on and off


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he has been pretty honest with you, sharing his feelings. That's a good sign... much better for him to tell you and share things with you then to keep it inside. I'm not sure that there was really anything wrong for him to say he would have gone back to her if you broke up -- going back to a prior relationship might be like a 'security blanket'.

    I don't understand why anyone would say you should have dumped him for this... there is not unusual about having feelings about a prior relationship, even to the point of still feeling affection for a prior girlfriend. If he was using you to get back at her, or just being with you and not caring for you while thinking of her -- but none of that sounds like the case here.

    I think you should be glad that he is able to share with you like he has... it doesn't sound like any of it was to hurt you intentionally.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Drugs. No, but seriously stop fighting it, just accept you feel this shadow of doubt and then live everyday allowing that feeling to be until is no more. It will fade if you don't feed. You're feeding by fighting, contributing energy to it's existence in your brain, so really the best way to forget something is actually to be passive about it.


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