I was with my ex for 3 years and all I ever had was questions. Is he the right one, are we going to be happy forever, is he ever going to do this/get this/be this, etc. And I would take out these frustrations out on him by starting arguments that didn't even need to happen. I would throw fits, get mad, try to make him feel guilty, tell him he wasn't enough, and he eventually broke up with me.
Its been 2 weeks and I realized that there was nothing wrong with him, it was all me. I had this vision of the "perfect" guy when I didn't even realize that I myself am not perfect and I have insecurities I need to fix so that I can feel confident with myself and in a relationship too. Really, he was easily a great catch, and I was blinded by my thoughts. I started seeing a counselor, and I want to better myself. He told me that he will always love me and wants to stay friends, he said "i love you, but we are not compatible. All i ever do is make you mad. Find someone who will not always upset you." That hurt me because he never did anything wrong. I've thought about all of his positive qualities and they are just like, my description of the perfect guy. I've thought about his negative qualities and the thing is, they aren't bad. They are just his personality. I definitely have negative qualities in my personality that if he was willing to live with I should have been able to live with his.
I want to show him that I can change and be the person he needs, and I'm willing to wait until he is ready to try again, if he even wants to. I want to make this known to him but I don't want to force anything on him, all I've ever done is force my opinions on him so Im sure the last thing he wants is a binding statement that I'll stick around but only if he considers dating me again.
How can I approach this situation in a calm way, that isn't begging, but sincerely telling him that I want to and can work on how I handle myself and how I handle relationships?
Most Helpful Guy
My ex did that.
Believe me, if she ever acknowledged what shed done and tried for real to change it and asked for me back with the sincerety you showed here...
Id be so happy.
there's hope. Explain it to him. Show him.
Its worth it.
Make him a believer.1
Most Helpful Girl
You shouldn't regret not trying. So try to get him back. But yeah, it would hurt if you do all you can to try to get him... but in the end he ends up making you beg him to come back. You will get hurt like hell. try approaching him in calm and collective way, say exactly how you felt once. And that's it... only once. If he doesn't want to try it again, then forget him. Because you will lose a friend and get more hurt by trying more than once.2