My ex was everything I wanted, yet I was always mad?

My ex boyfriend was everything I want in a guy. He was funny, loyal, kind, shared the same interests as me, attractive, caring, a good listener, family-oriented, works full time, goes to school part time, and I could go on and on. For some reason, however, I was never satisfied with what he did for me. I always wanted more. I'm having trouble figuring out why that is. He broke up with me because he said I constantly made him feel like he wasn't good enough for me. Looking back now, I have no idea why I did it. Naturally, I want more than anything to get back with him now that he is gone, but before I even pursue trying to talk to him and see if he wants me back... I'm trying to identify why I couldn't fully love him and why I would get so upset.

Does anyone know anyway that I can evaluate my feelings and see if this really is love that I have for him or anyway that I can determine what it is about him that would just overshadow all of his great qualities and make me act this way towards him? I do not want to even mention getting back together until I can find the root of this desire to start and continue arguments all the time.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hear this time and time again. Personally I feel like its our culture's social media constant validation type of mentality.

    Nowadays both genders have become so enthralled in the chase, that once they have scored a partner, they no longer want that partner. It's not even about "being in love" anymore.

    My longest relationship lasted when I never gave my ex what she wanted. I always just threw her scraps leading her to want more and more. And boy did it work. Eventually she flat out confronted me and asked if I ever intended on marrying her. I didn't want to lead her on so I told her that I don't plan on marrying anyone. We broke up then.

    Can I ask you a question? Did you grow up in a single parent household?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Were you perhaps sabotaging the relationship because you deep down felt like you weren't good enough for him? Maybe your own insecurities drove you to try to make him "prove" your value by showing you how far he'd go to please you?

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What Guys Said 3

  • You think you can do better. For some reason. That's it. Now that he's gone, you see what you had. But during the relationship you felt like you could do better. Because as another answer says, he didn't challenge you enough. Girls work that way, they always want what they can't have. In the future, try to appreciate someone for who he is. If you want a challenge, then be with a guys that doesn't give you everything you want. If you don't, find someone similar to your ex.

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  • Sounds like the problem is you. Have you ever showed him that how much you appreciate him? Or did you always just give him shit all the time? Have you ever shown any vulnerability to him?

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  • Short term therapy would be ideal for this type of issue.

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