I just broke up with my boyfriend... what happens next?

We had known each other for two years as friends through church, but started talking about 6 months ago. We would text literally all day every day. We started going out together on dates in September but never became "official" until a month ago.

I'm not going to make this long in explaining why I ended it, but I knew that we weren't right for each other in the long term and I didn't want to lead him on in case things didn't work out - especially since he had already told me that he knew that I was the one he wanted to marry. (This was my first relationship, and I wanted to take things slow and figure things out...)

We had a conversation on Monday and after us both being silent the last few days I initiated contact with him tonight. We talked and we both agreed that we were on different pages. I honestly have nothing bad to say about him. He was respectful throughout our relationship and I have no hard feelings whatsoever, and I don't regret it at all. I said all of this to him, but he never reciprocated any of it. And I get that he's feeling hurt because he was vulnerable and opened up to me emotionally.

But if I'm the one who broke up with him, why is it so painful for me? It literally hurts like hell. I cared so much for him, and still do. We agreed that we could be friends, and I know that will take time... but where do I go from here? I miss him. I want to know how he's doing. But do I have the right to know that anymore? Am I still able to text him? I don't want to make things harder on him. I know I broke his heart, but mine is broken as well. And I really just want to be able to keep in touch with him and let him know that I'll always be here to support him and encourage him. I just don't know what the proper way to go about this is now?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

    You move on with your life and close the book on that old chapter.


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What Guys Said 4

  • it hurt him more if you talk to him. sometime I hated my friend ex girlfriend. I cared about my friend, but I feel she using him for her benefit.

  • If you think you can be friends and keep in touch like you're dreaming then I've got some beachfront property in Arizona to sell you

  • Most likely. Your going to become more jaded/bitter about love for a while. Stay single. Might have no string attach sex/FWB relationship for months/years and then maybe by age 25-26 start back dating again. However, your going to make this guy work for you, play mind games before giving up the pussy. Eventually you'll get into a relationship with him and you'll start pressuring for marriage in 1-2 years. You end up getting married before age 30.

  • Learn to be alone again, and once you're comfortable with yourself, try dating again.


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