How do you know when you are truly in love with someone?

I've been having a lot of problems determining if I am meant to be with this guy. We would argue all the time, usually because I would start it, so he broke up with me last week. I can definitely see us getting back together, but I really don't want to do this if we aren't "meant" for each other.

My ex is a really sweet guy, he has the same interests as me, he works full time and goes to class part time, he gets me things I want and takes me places I want to go, we have the same friends and love each other's families. I tried to pinpoint the one thing that I didn't like, and all I can think of is that he isn't exactly a go-getter, he is more complacent and slow-paced than I am. He doesn't really want to go the extra mile to do things sometimes. I felt during the first year like he didn't even want to go out of his way for me, and that would make me mad. I was his first long term girlfriend, so he eventually caught on to what I needed. He would do things for me every weekend as the next 2 years continued, but for some reason I was still just always mad at him and annoyed. He got tired of it and broke it off.

Because of our history, I am really inclined to think we are going to want to try again, but before we do, I want to know what my problem is with him. I cannot pinpoint it and I can't get over this feeling that, maybe I should be more excited to get back with him? Maybe I shouldn't be okay right now and I should be longing for the moment I get to see him again? I took the breakup hard the first 3 days, but since then, I've been focusing on myself and today I didn't even think about him at all until now, and that was what worried me. I've had other boyfriends but nothing as serious as he and I were. I really just want to know if you can truly "feel" it when you are with the right person. I don't like having doubts about love and I don't want to put him nor myself through another breakup in the future.

Any advice or personal experiences with "true love"?

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What Guys Said 2

  • True love? True love is what you make of it, love is about compromising and working together towards a happy relationship. There's no such thing as a person that's meant for another. If they are both fighters and they don't give up on each other, then they will last a lot longer than the couple that are quitters, that are quick to look for someone else that's more suitable. Relationship take work, if you listen to old married couples that have been together along time (20+ years). If you love this guy, then you will do everything that you can to be with him, and he will do everything he can to be with you. True love (when two people love each mutually) will last for an eternity, because love is stronger than any emotion, even logic. That's why we do silly things (that other people think is stupid in their eyes) when we're in love.

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  • Yes! You will know when you are truly in love with someone. You will feel it. It's not about having the same interests. It's about the way you feel when you're near the person you truly love. The intensity of sadness when you're not together. You will undetstand if these feelings are strong.

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