Did you break up with him or he was the one who did it?
The first time was mutual and second time I did it
Did he ever try to contact you again? To apologize?
He contacted me like 2 times. The first one was to apologize and make things work, 2nd one was to acknowledge what I tried to do for him and he wishes he showed me that he really cared about me and that he missed me. So I decided things couldn't work out, the damage was already done
Well I wish my ex would apologize at least. :( how long did it take?
Because I fell for him in the beginning of our relationship. He was great but then things became very bad :( I wish he was that person I first met
Well... he's not so... yeah, like, move on.
Do you think that usually guys regret it?
Do you think it would never work with a drug addict?
I think that's too vague of a description... I've seen people called drug addicts because they unwind at night by smoking a bowl of cannabis... Is his addiction running his life? Is this a substance that you also partake of? Do you have any moral or religious conflict with his addiction? etc. etc.
He smoked cannabis but I don't consider that a drug. He was addicted to pain killers (oxycontin) he basically texted me two weeks ago telling me he was a mess... He relapsed and he gambled all of his money. I tried to end the conversation because I don't want to be hurt anymore but I can't help but think of him. It makes me sad of course but I tried so hard to help him. I'm the opposite of him but I really did my best. I cried almost every night... He screamed at me and put the blame on me. I know it wasn't my fault because his life is not better now we are not together.
Opiate addictions are very serious... you can point him in the direction of help, but until he's many months clean, sober, and standing on his own two feet he's not any good for anyone
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I don't know if I can love someone after loving him :( I have a hard time falling for someone
You can, the question is, will you? Sure, you could try to get him back. You might succeed. But you already know where that road leads. It'll go to the same place that you went last time - until he faces his problem (and truly wants help), nothing will change. Your relationship will exist in the same context it did last time. I wouldn't do it. Yeah, the unknown is scary - but sometimes the known is more scary.
What sucks more is that I don't think he wants me... he contacted me randomly but he never talked about us or apologized. he texted me 2 weeks ago saying he was a mess, he gambled all of his savings out of depression and relapsed... I said "I'm sorry to hear but Im not the right person to help him" but hen I texted him on Thanksgiving and I said that I hope he would get better and to be the person he was again. He didn't answer.
All you can do is what you can, and you've done that. I don't think it's that he doesn't want you, I think it's that he *can't* want you right now. The drugs have too strong a hold on him. They've taken over his life. If he gets help, he may turn back. But he has to want to do it, on his own. Nothing you can say or do can bring that about; you can support him, and try to guide him, but it sounds like it's already past that point. If I may ask, what kind of drugs is he doing? And yes, there's a reason I'm asking this...
He is addicted to Oxycontin. It's devastating when you care for someone and they don't care about you and about themselves. He treated me like shit so many times but I just keep remember of who he was before he was actively on drugs. :(
*nods* It is. But the person you loved back then is gone, replaced by this current person who's wearing his shell. Trust me, I know what you're going through, I've gone through it before, and to a certain extent, I am now, but it's not drugs in my case. If you can get him help in any way, do it. It's really what he needs. He may hate you for it at first, but in the end, he'll thank you for it.
I tried to make him search for help when we were dating but he would just get mad at me and blaming me for everything he did wrong. It was very hard. :(
do you think it's worse with someone in his life? someone who cares for him?
Depends on the person. Some drug addicts feed off from that. The only person who can help him is himself. We can only help ourselves. You may in fact just be enabling him without meaning to.
Really? Do you think it was better like this? :( im so sad... I really thought I could've helped him
NO ONE. NO ONE. NOT ONE SINGLE SOLITARY SOUL, can help an addict. The only person who can help them is themselves. Go to a. You need to. Really. Go!
My father was an addict. My first real girlfriend was an addict. I did EVERYTHING. I begged, I paid for rehab, I stole and lied and cheated to cover for them. I hid their shows, their money, I even tied my girlfriend to the bed. Nothing works!
Shoes not shows.
I tried to find it here but I can't find it here where I live. :( It's so sad that I can't help a person I love so much and he texted me 2 weeks ago saying he was a mess, he gambled all of his savings out of depression and relapsed... I said "I'm sorry to hear but Im not the right person to help him" but hen I texted him on Thanksgiving and I said that I hope he would get better and to be the person he was again. He didn't answer.
Did your first girlfriend recover? Did she search for you to apologize?
She ended up dying of aids. I'm so lucky she ditched me when she did.
The last time she spoke to me she was looking for money. I gave her 20 and she offered me a bj if I'd give her another 20.
My father died after a beating that he received because he was going around dangerous areas drunk.
omg that's so sad :(they never recovered
Some do though. I've worked in addiction for years, and they can, but they won't do it for *you* they do it for themselves.
There's nothing I could've said to help him right? Do relationships mean anything for them?
The only thing that means anything to them is their addiction whatever that is. Women sell their bodies or even their children's bodies for a fix. Guys steal from their old grandmothers.
Addicts are different, and they are different for their whole lives. They can be set and charming and even appear loving, but there's only one thing they really love.
You are right, he was very charming. Probably more charming than anybody I've ever met that's why it's so hard to move on. It made me confuse about who he is.
They tend to be very charming. Sorry. It's an act. Find an alternative anon. You really need it.
I developed feelings for him before I know that :( I still have feelings for him
Well, you know that a single parent who's dating will always put the child before his date? Well the addict will put drugs before his child.Let it go, he will ruin your life. Once a druggy always a druggy, no matter what people want you to think.
It's so sad to hear that... really. You know when you care so much for a person and you see them destroy themselves... That's devastating. I wish I never met him
Feelings fade. Besides, it could be worse. Imagine you didn't know that he's an addict so you married him and had kids with him. Imagine the problems you'd have, all the time you wasted.
Yes you are right. I'm still struggling with this. He was a prince in the beginning of our relationship and then he became the devil.
thank you, it's still sad :(