He just wasn't ready to get married and stuff I think
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Huh a real man does that when there about to get married I would think
Yeah i mean to say a real man , wouldn't break up with a girl. Sorry you misunderstood :/
We'll people have different situations but if you do all those things with a girl and still talk after the break up, will they get back together?
There is chance they would get back together. The last thing i wouldn't want this type of break up to be permanent i would want it to work our and make a marriage happen.
Yes I know you wouldn't but what about another type of guy?
Yeah it's hard to say that i agree not all guys are the same :/
Im talking about a logical guy here that we still talk, hang out, and fool around with each other
Yes it could result in something serious if that is what you both want.
We'll would he want to get back together with me knowing all of this
Yes hard to say if he would want get back or not. If he knows how bad you feel maybe he would but what man breaks up with a girl after going window shopping for rings, furniture, bedding etc. Was it over something like money issues or was it a mutual argument that caused it to happen?
It was over an argument
Yeah i see really hard to pinpoint where to start to make things right.
What do you mean?
I mean have made any decision whether to talk with him?
About what? I mean I said we talk, hang out at times and still fool around with each other like we normally did
If he's not ready to get married than things will remain as they are for now.
What do you mean? He's not getting back together with me because he's not ready to get married?
I don't know just loss for words , I've exhausted all means here sorry :( :/
It's okay but I would like to know what you really think here?
Well, it all determines how long are you willing to wait to see if the guy comes to his senses from the argument. Someone needs to give in and start communicating more. I think the guy should be the one to come to his senses and make the first move. If he fails to communicate than you may be waiting forever and you don't want that to happen. My classmate waited 3 times for a guy to come to senses to marry her. He turned her down for marriage 3 times. Here she is my age now and has no children all cause she waited so long than finally he agreed to marry her. My opinion give it some time if he doesn't come around to wanting to marry you than ask yourself if this is what you want. You want married life than it might be with some other guy who will give you exactly what you want and what he wants. A new guy might be more compatible for what you want in life. Which is married life.
We'll he was pretty compatible. . I don't know if he will want to get back together is what I'm asking?
Yes there is possibility if you two work on things you can get back together.It would take two for you to make it work , If that will happen?
We'll do you think he would want that considering all this information?
Yeah there is chance , i would bring it up to him
Well the last time I did he said " I don't want to get back together now" so I don't know what that means but that was also awhile ago. What does that mean?
Maybe he got lot to think over but you can't never say no. Give it some time and let him know once in while how you feel about him. If he knows how you feel than maybe he will have a different train of thought.
He should know how I feel. What do you mean you can never say no?
You can't say he will never come back into your life like before is what i mean
Why can't I say that?
What I'm saying he could come back into your life really hard to say?
I mean we still talk so he's still in my life. What did he mean by the "I don't want to get back together now".
He doesn't want get back with you for the time being. It doesn't mean you two will never get back together , it all depends on how things go with you two. Right now, he most likely on sees you as a best friend or friends with benefits i don't know. Like i said, the other day you may wait forever for him to one get back with you as a boyfriend or even more. Hard to say if it will ever be like things were when they were good. And again it all depends on what your looking for. Are you wanting this guy for a friends with benefits? You do you want this guy as a Best Friend? Do you want this guy as a Boyfriend that result in marriage? It also goes by how long you and this guy broke up. Sometimes the longer the break up , the longer it takes to get back with someone hard to say? Sometimes once a couple break up that's it things are over.
If things were over why would he say it like he just didn't want to get back together then?You think he sees me as a friends with benefits?
Well, if you two just hang out and only sex happens or he goes out with you on a date than there is sex yes he could just want Friends With Benefits. Yes he would say things are over for now, if he knows he can get the honey without the milk. Not all guys are like him. If it was me i would be trying to make up with the girl to be more than friends.
Well he does take me on dates and he pays and I know he has feelings for me so is that really friends with benefits?
Yes it is if there is sex afterwards. If he just basically just takes you on a dateand pays for things but no sex happens than he is just being nice and being for real.
But um there was sex when we were in a relationship too. I would assume if people are in a relationship there is, wouldn't you? So how is this different behavior?
Well sex with no attachment is what it is. He can come and go, do as he pleases take you out for a date , come home with you or take you to his place have sexthan go home. Yes people in loving relationship have sex.
So what is the difference here? What says it's a friends with benifits relationship?What saids that there is not still love there?
What says it's a friends with benefits relationship? He takes you out basicallycause he knows that sex will happen or a sexual favor will take place. What said that there is not still love there? True , as long it's hanging out or just dating
I don't think he takes me out just because he thinks sez will take place because there are nights were we have stayed in so he knows we can do that as well. We also haven't Hung out in awhile so I would think if it was just for sex I would think it would be more frequent, right? I know if I just used him for sex I wouldn't care if it was every week or whatnot
Yes i see well good luck on whatever you choose.
No do you agree or no? I still want your opinion
Well, i don't believe in friends with benefits but not here to judge ones who do it. If me and girl dated or hung out there would be no sexual contact but just friendship to i know something would lead to marriage but there would have to be a engagement.
So what about if your just dating?
Well, if I'm just dating there would be no real sex, maybe making out, kissing, hugs, cuddling but i want something real that will result in marriage. I wouldn't want give myself sexual to a girl and she end up dumping me. I think foreplay is okay if your just dating but not actual sex. That is just me and how i see things for myself.
Okay we'll for my relationship we already did all of that so wouldn't that be a norm for us not him using me
Yes for you that would be normal.
So then why do you think our relationship is a friends with benefits scenerio
Well, cause you say you two go out and in between have sex sometimes right?
Yes we do
Well i understand your situation no problem i don't judge others.
You understand? What do you think we are though?
It all depends on how often you two see each other.
Not very often
Yeah i see
You see what?
I see how things go with you and that guy.
And what do you have to say about it
Well, it seems like things will remain as it is unless one of you make a move to make things better. It's really hard to say kind of confusing too. Some of us go on like this and things may or may not get better.
I don't get how we can go on like this I'd we both want to get married eventually
Yes i do agree with you. That's what i want to in a relationship too for myself.
So does that mean he'll eventually want to get back together then?
Well, there is chance to get back together. It all depends if things start getting betterbetween you and him really hard to say , Like i said, there has got to be communicationin order for you two to make things work.
We'll last time we were talking through text his answers we're very long and detailed, I think he was trying to make me laugh also
Well, long text messages is a start for you two
Why what does that mean? And start? This been going on for awhile now
He may want get back with you. Do you flirt with him back?
How do you know he does or think he does?
Well long text messages is sure sign. Go by what he text you. Go by his body language.
Really I mean I guess I got that especially since he put a winky face in in there. Ii believe I flirt back good enough but we are not together so maybe it's not good enough for him to get a clue
Well, like i say hard to say since you two are just texting one another.Whether there will be love connection with you two. It seems like hejust wants friendship for now and nothing more. But hard to say confused :/
Well like I said and like you put it his body language is all there whenever we hang out
Yes i see well sounds good. I think the guy should be the oneto make that step to ask a girl if she wants to go back out.
Me to but I don't get why he's not
Yeah well my opinion if your on market for dating and want something real your young yet go for it if you meet another guy.
Yes I know I get it but I know he already likes me and I love him still
Yeah i see i know it's hard to let go of someone when your still in love with them.
But he has feelings for me too, it's not only me
Yeah i see what you mean.
And I don't know how to show him that I want something with him
Yeah i see that can happen to us.
How do I show him?
You may have to come out and tell him how you feel and tell him your feelings for him
I just can't because what if he doesn't feel the same
Well at least he knows. I know it's easier said than done.
Yeah we'll what can I do to get him to see that
You got let him know how you feel and communication is what you need.
I can't bluntly say that
Maybe try going a few days without talking much over text message with him and see where it goes. I'm so loss on what else to tell him.. I know you don't want ignore his text messages but maybe just call him up and talk things over. Someone needs to apologize in order for this to work.
We sometimes don't even talk for a week or something.I tried apologing and he just said it's fine
Yes, i see i think you still love this guy but his feelings aren't the same not meaning to upset you.
How do you see his feeling's are not the same? He still has all of our pictures on his Facebook and always seems like he's not looking for anyone else
Do you still say that?
Well I'm just wondering i really don't know much. How long have you two been broke up?
Like a year or something like that
Yeah, so how many times do you two go out on dates? If you do how do you feel afterwards?
Um I don't know whenever we can. I feel good afterwards like there is something there but who knows
Yeah i know how you feel. I think you still have lot of feelings for himand you would never be able to move on cause your heart is with himbut i wonder if he feels the same for you. I always get relationships where I have more feelings for the girl than she does for me.
How do you not think he feels the same about me if I said I feel good after we hang out
Yeah maybe cause your happy from being out with him , i don't know what else to think?
We'll let's put it this way tonight I was supposed to see him but as much as he said he wanted me to go over to his place he said I needed to stay home because he was concerned about me driving in the bad weather
Well., see that is good sign. He feared for you driving in the bad weather.
Yeah but he also started the text with "as much as I want you to come over"
I know well he wanted to see you but ask yourself are you going on like this for 1 more year or maybe even 2 years? I know i don't knowif i could go on after i saw after year of no progress. Just my thought !
Well we have made a little progress slowly since we broke up but see that's what I'm trying to figure out if he'll want something with me eventually
There could be a chance i am not sure if it will happen I know if a girl broke up with me and we weren't reallygoing that fast and a year went by i would call it quitsi don't know if i could be best friends with a girl whouse to be my girlfriend? Puzzling for sure !
Of course there's a chance but does he like me or want that
I wish i could say he likes you and wants to get back with you but it's been a year.This is really hard to say and pinpoint if he likes you and wants to go back with you.You need to ask him to sit down and have a deep conversation about all this and ask him.With lack of communication which it clearly shows i don't see this going any where.
What does it matter if it's been a year or not. We still kept in touch and hang out from time to time
It doesn't matter, like i said have a deep conversation with himand he would know best what he wants to do really hard to say?
We'll do most ex's keep in touch and hang out with 3ach other after so much time has passed?
Well i never got back with my ex girlfriends cause it just was too muchbut i agree this doesn't happen in all cases but it does happen with some.
Some? I find it very odd, don't you?
Yes i do but i can see you love this guy, I think you need to communicatemore with this guy and find a way to express yourself, I know this is hardto do but i think he needs to know how you feel.
I would think he already does though I have told him, I don't know how else to put it lol
Yeah i see what you mean
So I don't know what to do, I mean it speaks wonders if he's concerned about me because of it being bad weather?
Yeah i agree it does make you wonder.
Yes and that he admitted he really wanted to see me
Yeah so how often in weeks time do you communicate with him? Do you talk everyday with him?
No not everyday. It's whenever we're free again. We can go weeks without talking for no reason at all
Yeah i see how do you feel when you go for weeks without talking? Do you talk to other guys or are you just busy during that time?
Well I mostly am busy but I will talk to guys if I meet them
Yeah i see wish i had other advice to give you i am stunned.
Well does he like me or not?
Well, it sounds like he likes you but year going by?
Yeah I don't know why he would wait to get back with me, why do you suppose?
Really hard to say why he would wait.
Does it mean anything when he says " you know what we should do" just because he said "we'?
Yeah, it means something if he says "We" he wants to include you but you need to communicate more with him and tell him how you feel about things.
But I mean does it mean he thinks of us as a unit?
Yeah it could be like i said, lack of communication between you and him won't get you anywhere if another year goes by ask yourself if this is way you want things to stay?
It probably is but I don't know what I can say, I'm not going to ask to get back together?
He reached out to hold my hands more than one time last night
Well that is something you should held his hand and look at him.
I did but he was just so receptive
Yeah i don't know what to think
Maybe he wanted me to bring it up because he had the key i used to have to his place just sitting on his bedroom counter where I can see it. Do you think that is the case?
Yes it could be hard to say.
What do you mean by that?
Maybe he wanted to bring it up hard to say?
Well if he wanted to why doesn't he?
I don't have the answer , we could go on from now to next yearand there may never be a clear answer.
Well what is a reason any other man would wait to get in a relationship if they like someone?
Yeah i agree but he could have cold feet is why he is doing this. He could have commitment issues that may or may not be solved.
Why would he have comittmemt issues if we were together for 2 and a half years?
I don't know what to think wish i had a answer.
No I know but can have really have comittment issues since we were together for so long
Yeah i agree why would a guy throw away 2 1/2 years of a relationship away?It has to be hard on you and it just makes you wonder how long one can really go on before say screw this I'm moving on with life?
Well I was more so asking if he would still have a commitment issue even though we dated?
Yes, he could have commitment issues even thou you datedyes it does happen in relationships.
It does? How does that happen?
They are afraid for married life and the thought of itso they get cold feet and break it off with a girl.
So because of that does that mean he can't date me?
No it doesn't mean he can't date you but your holding on to him it sounds like so who knows i don't know what to think?
Holding on to him? What do you mean by that?
It's not like he doesn't keep in touch with me when I try to leave him alone
Well, i don't know wish i knew more to help you. Yes it's okay to date him But do you want hold on just to things the way they are with him? If you don't mindThan things will stay as they are for now i don't know what to think?
I'm just saying it's not only me holding on to it so there must be a reason he's still in my life right?
There is reason he's still in your life. I say he still cares but when it comesto actually marrying you, I'm not so sure he is marriage type material butnot for me to say i could be wrong , Also there is chances you two can becomemore than friends not going to happen now.
How are we not more than friends now, we have feelings for each other?
I don't know sorry
It's okay I'm just confused because even you said he had feelings for me didn't you?
Yes, he got feelings for you but the thing is. For now it will be just friendship only!!!
Friendship doesn't mean you kiss and fool around with each other though
Yes i don't know I'm loss with this one puzzling?
Yeah me too but can i ask you why you said he may not be marriage material
Well, you went window shopping for rings, furniture, bedding and than it's over?
Well it did last for 2years after that