Is it normal for a man to act this way?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years, I am 25 and he is 32. We have two young children, ages 3 and 3months.
Im so hurt over what is happening. He has no interest in me what so ever. He doesn't touch me, give me any words of affirmation or even hold a conversation with me without watching tv or holding his phone to his face. We have always had problems when it comes to sex. He has always had an excuse to not do it, first before the children it was because we had a roommate and he didn't want them to hear, then it was we lived with a family member and same thing, didn't want them to hear anything. Now it's we have kids and he's tired. We have had sex 2 times in 1 year. He never initiates anything and also sleeps on the couch almost every night, when I confront him about this and tell him how I feel, he says he doesn't mean to fall asleep there. But nothing changes.
I don't even initiate anymore because i feel so degraded, like I'm begging him to pay attention to me.
All of my friends talk about how their man can't keep his hands off of them, and they wish he would give them a break. I am the complete opposite.
I have never felt so lonely, disgusting, and unappreciated in my entire life.
I can't tell if he's cheating on me, gay, or having problems down there. I seriously don't know and I'm so tired of feeling like garbage everyday...


Most Helpful Guy

  • The two of you have some serious problems (not just sex, but more importantly with COMMUNICATION). When things get to this stage, you can't fix it alone, because there's too much of a wall built up between you. You need a third party to help break through that wall and get you two talking again.

    In other words, you need marriage counselling. It can do wonders if you let it - but he has to be willing to go and have an open mind. Otherwise, you're well down the road towards a divorce.

    NOTE: be prepared to face up to some things that YOU may not be doing right either. Rarely is 100% of the blame on one person, even though it seems clear that he's the bigger part of the problem in this case. A good marriage counselor will quickly figure out where the problems are, and make you put all your cards on the table and talk it all out - and often you'll find that your "HUGE" problems are actually not very big at all - if you can just start to talk about them and deal with them together.


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What Guys Said 3

  • You've always had problem with sex and you marry him? Then have kids with him? Now you expect changes? It isn't going to change so you have a decision

  • Is there any communication about this do you bring it up a lot, do you guys fight etc, communication is everything, it sounds like you guys don't talk that much either

  • I suggest having him go to the doctors and ask him about it. He might just be low on some hormones. In which case a few hormone pills will perk him right up and his freind right up.


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