How long did it take you to get over an ex you loved? Was it hard to see someone else after?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's been 2 months and I'm not over her. I still love her and also hate her guts now, but want nothing to do with her since she cheated. I was completely in love with her. I made it my mission to move on from her asap and so I didn't really give myself time to heal before I started dating again. I've been seeing another girl for the past 5 weeks now.

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    • Wow that sounds exactly like what happened to me in the past, except I didn't meet someone else until like a year later. In the end it really did take a little over a year to finally forget him. I hope this new girl helps you keep your mind off things.

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    • Sorry for the late reply, I don't use this site much. Now that it's been another month, I hope you're a lot more over her. I hope you never cross paths with a cheater ever again. Happy New Year <3

    • actually just met another incredible girl a couple hours ago, see my profile if you want to see it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been separated from my husband now for almost a year. For financial reasons, we haven't started the process of divorce yet. But he decided that since we're "not together" that he can go and do what he wants with who he wants. It hurts at first but you come to realize that the relationship didn't last for a reason.

    Loving someone is only half of the journey. The other person has to love you back and be willing to make it work. With that said, seeing someone else after isn't hard if that person is everything that you actually needed.

    Sometimes you have to lose something good to find something GREAT. Good luck!

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    • "Seeing someone else after isn't hard if that person is everything that you actually needed," beautifully said. Thank you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Been there brother, unfortunately the answer is years, assisted by finding someone else (which you will).
    Just everytime you start to want to get back with her, imagine her with that other dude and remember how she made you feel.
    Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. She took advantage of your trust, and that can never be regained.

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    • That's a good way of thinking about things. Thanks :)!

    • Sorry, I missed the indications that you were a lady. My apologies ma'am.
      I think the general principles hold true. Maybe even more so.
      I don't know any guys who only cheat once. If they do it, it indicates the don't quite grasp the "commitment" concept

    • No worries! I took the meaning the same way, thanks a lot, remembering how he made me feel with that other girl is enough to piss me off and helps me get over him. Wonderfully said.

  • I still love her. She cheated on me, stole my car, and ruined my life. If I could have her back... no I wouldn't take her back. But I'll never be able to love as selflessly as I did her, again.

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    • Sorry but that's kinda pathetic, why would you still love someone who actually shitted on you?
      That sounds like "Come girls, ruin my life and I am gonna love you for that"

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    • @LaFemmeFatale Such an interesting perspective and explanation, thank you a lot for sharing :)

    • No problem :) I am glad If you found it helpful.

  • Not that long. A month after I broke up with the longest term girlfriend I had.

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  • All you need to know is to let the chips fall where they may

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What Girls Said 16

  • We dated on and off for a year and a half. He was my first everything. I got over him in like a month. However, it was hard to say no whenever he'd text me like "Hey im in the neighborhood, can i stop by?" Or "Hey you didn't text back, do you have a new number?"... like it was always hard to avoid him. So that part took years

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    • I see what you mean. For me, I'd just keep forgiving and forgetting even when I shouldn't have :/

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    • Well find a new guy who interests you and he could be the distraction that helps you to move on

    • I do have a new guy and we actually hung out tonight, it was nice, but he of course doesn't know me that well so I feel closer to the boyfriend. I really hope I can do this. I know I need to, I'm just so scared of losing my best friend 😞 we should never have dated..

  • It took me about 3-4 weeks. I kind of knew it was over before it actually ended so I wasn't TOO torn up about to. It was hard to see someone else at first because I just had no desire to be in a relationship. I knew when I was ready and it wasn't hard to see someone else. It was great to meet new people and start a new relationship. Getting to know someone you're interested in (and the feelings are mutual)... it's a lot of fun.

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    • Wow that's great, not too long. I'm hoping it'll also take me a few weeks to move on (my relationship is visibly coming to an end). How long were you guys together for? And you're 10000% about the mutual feelings part haha.

    • It really all depends on how strong your relationship is, ya know. If you know it's coming to an end and no way to salvage it, then you should just end it and start your healing process. It's not healthy to keep hanging on if it's already a done deal. The relationship that I was in... we were together almost 3 years. But like I said... I knew the break up was coming so it wasn't too hard to let go. There's some myth that says however long a relationship is, it takes half that time to get over it. Not sure how true that is. To me it has helped to talk to someone else (not as a rebound) to get over an ex or just stay busy with hobbies and close friends. When you're ready to move on, you'll know. Don't just drag this out if it's not for you anymore. Everyone deserves to be happy. And most importantly... you may feel like it's the end of the world once it's over, but I assure its not. You'll realize one day how crazy you were to be feeling down about it, but in time you'll be just fine.

    • Thank you so much, it's been a tough time but I'm finally feeling a lot better. Everything you said is spot on. "You may feel like it's the end of the world once it's over, but I assure its not," is the best thing to know. Like you said, I know in the future I'll be laughing at myself, thinking how illogical I was being. Thank you so much for this.

  • In the 6 months we dated, I never loved my ex. I knew I could have but I didn't let myself because I knew he wasn't 100% there for me. After I split with him I rebounded for about 1 month, then dated other guys for about 7 months then found my current boyfriend of over a year who I am crazy in love with.

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    • That's very smart of you. I'm with my boyfriend but our relationship is pretty much over, it has days left at this point.. I naturally stopped loving him 6 months ago (it's been a couple years) due to all the problems. I'm curious, even though you didn't love him, did it hurt to break up or were you relieved?

    • Yes it hurt because I knew what we could have been but never were, I knew our problems were because he wasn't ready and there was nothing I could do about that. He was my first proper boyfriend and I wanted it to work but it didn't so that hurt. I knew after I left him i'd probably never intend see him again which is true, outside of the fact we have bumped into each other/i've seen him on TV. It hurt because I felt like I lost something. But I don't think about him that way anymore, i've long moved on.

    • Thank you for sharing, it was also my first boyfriend. I can't wait until like you, I don't think about him anymore.

  • It took a few months in a state of severe depression, about 5 months, and I haven't dated anyone since. It depends on the relationship how long it takes to recover.

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    • That's true. It's honestly the worst feeling..

    • It's pretty bad. I think the worst part is that feeling of acceptance is gone. I went through something similar to the stages of grief.

  • Usually by the time I meet someone else, I'm over whoever I was with before. If not, they usually make me forget about them or at least get over it. Sometimes it takes a little while, but eventually you'll get to being over them.

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  • I couldn't get over my ex for about 3-4 months, but then I met someone special, someone who made me forget about everything my ex done to me, treated me better and made me feel beautiful and smart again. So it was easy for me to start new relationship.

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    • Sounds so nice! My current relationship is clearly ending very soon, it's just become an emotional mess. I think once I like someone else, it'll become a lot easier :)

    • I bet you will find someone who will clean up all your emotional mess. If you see that your current relationship is doomed, don't put your heart into it anymore, it will only make everything more complicated, but it won't be perfect as in beginning and that will cause even bigger emotional mess. Just stay calm and enjoy life :)

    • ❤️ Thank you for the advice. I already feel like backing out because I'm so attached to him, but I must do it... wow it's so so tough.

  • It took me about 3 years to get in a new relationship after my first ex, but I'm not sure if this is becuae no one decent asked me out or because i wasn't over him. Most likely the first one.

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    • Thanks for sharing. It took me a year and a half last time to move on, and no one decent asked me either. By the time someone good did, I was over the ex. Hopefully this time (my current relationship is pretty much over) it won't hurt too bad.

    • The funny thing is that at the time I was in uni so pretty much surrounded by "eligible bachelor's". Though I looked like a hot mess and there were cuter options than me.

    • Yeah, I feel you :)

  • its been 4 months and I am not over him. i don't know how long will it take. i saw other guys but didn't feel the connection I had with my boyfriend

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    • I'm really sorry to hear that :( It took me a year and a half last time to get over my ex, and this time it's difficult too. The good thing is, eventually you will find someone who appreciates you, and it will be worth the wait and loneliness ❤️

    • I have heard that time heals everything. but is it not hard forgetting a soulmqte

  • I dumped a guy I didn't loved because he was toxic to me.

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    • Did it still hurt to go through with it?

  • Several months.

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  • 2 years to see this guy n it still hurts

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    • I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you can move on soon and find someone else ❤️

  • A weekend of party and drunking

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    • Wow lol, how long were you guys together for? :)

    • 2 years

  • It has been 3 years.
    And I think about him, I think in life some people came and even if they disappear they always are gonna be in our minds or souls.
    And it was hard, because every person every human being is unique and no one is like the loved one, but we have to move on, I think the hardest thing in life is when you saw that person having a family and a wife and all that, but this is life not heaven, shit happen

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    • Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • It took me three years to move on, but I'm still not over the hurt. He ended the relationship in a brutal way. He showed me a pic of him and another girl togther , who he was seeing , and told me to never contact him again. So although I don't love him now and I'm over him, I don't think I'll ever get over the cruel way in which he ended it.

    I don't see him around now. I did see him a few times after the initial breakup, but tears filled my eyes when I did see him around, because it brought back images of painful memories of how he ended it

    I can't understand why anyone would intentionally hurt a person who's sole intention was to love them. I did nothing to deserve such hurt from him.

    Your pain will ease though , but the length of time it takes to get over him depends on the depths of your feelings for him, because our pain is only proportionate to how much we love someone ❤

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    • Thank you for sharing, it sounds so similar to one of my previous break ups where he did something like that. It's so cruel. I will never understand people like that. The good thing is, you know how they truly are now and it's better that they are not apart of your life anymore. Better sooner than later :)

  • 10 years and counting..

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    • im not interested in anyone else. but dating was never a priority for me. thats WHY it didn't work with the other guy.

    • Wow. Are you waiting for him or just not interested in dating in general anymore?

  • ıt took like 2 years - to completely forget everything about him

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    • Wow, it must have been a very impactful relationship. The longest it took me was around a year and a half, it's very tough.

    • actually what made it that long was not my love to him but my anger , because he cheated on me n ı could accept it

    • I feel you, I still have a lot of anger towards my ex, it's really overwhelming some days. But I know that one day it won't mean anything to me anymore. Thanks for sharing :)

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