I have constantly been trying to find the original, confident, bad ass girl that my boyfriend fell in love with 2 years ago. He still sees it in me and we are moving in together and doing well. But, I can't seem to feel confident these days. Girls that follow him on Instagram and an ex trying to come back into the picture bother me so so much - to the point where I'll waste so much time just social media stalking and not being confident + healthy. I'd appreciate and support and help out there. I know I can't be the only person who struggles with this! -All best, M
So in love + so crazy 😞?
What Guys Said 2
Sometimes acting the part helps, what were you doing differently when you were that "bad ass girl" compared to now?1
This being self conscious is a state of mind. You can control it, I don't know how but you can be confident again1
What Girls Said 1
1. You need to be open to him about your insecurities. Talk to him about them (but don't pin the blame on him). Open communication leads to understanding each other. Being able to talk things out will also help clear the air and make you feel better.
2. Maybe you should delete your social media, for now. Stalking your own boyfriend on social media isn't helping, it's only making things worse.
3. You can't control what other people do. You can't control who other people decide to follow. Just because girls follow him, it doesn't mean they want to date him, or fuck him. Lots of people follow other people on social media completely randomly, because they hope people will follow back and because they want an active main feed.
4. Talk to him about your concerns regarding his ex who's trying to reconnect with him. Let him know it makes you feel uneasy and that you don't like it, that it's hurtful. Be honest, but again, don't blame him for it, because neither can he control who tries to talk to him. If he's a good boyfriend he'll realize that reconnecting with an ex isn't worth hurting you (or losing you), and he will distance himself from her or even flat out tell her that he can't keep in touch.
The important aspects here are open communication and that the both of you understand each other. Just as you can't really control these irrational feelings, and neither can he control who wants to follow him or who's reaching out to him. So you shouldn't blame him for the things these girls are doing, and neither should he blame you for feeling the way you feel. Hopefully he'll be willing to make some adjustments (such as rejecting his ex) and hopefully you'll try your hardest to get your confidence back.0
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