My boyfriend broke up w me last month. he's texted me occcasionally. Id like to send the following. Please help me revise. Its my truth. don't want a reaction or to get back together;
I had originally wanted to write you to meet friends and i out to see the city hall Christmas tree next week. I thought there was no friend I'd rather grab cocoa with after a cold day outside then you. Because this time last year i considered you my bestfriend for life.
before i could send that email i thought about everything, you aren't the same person. you are a good friend. I felt embarrassed when i saw your exes post on FB. you're niave if you think her friending you had nothing to do with how you treated me. i never did anything but encourage you to be friends with her. She brags about your car and you tease her back. It was embarrassing. That is the LEAST interesting thing about you. There's a reason none of your real friends even react. she and I do not view money the same way because my love isn't for sale. YOU impressed me. Not your car or job.
And I kept playing over and over in my head what you said "When you love someone you don't pause. You work things out." What you meant was when someone loves you. Because the second things weren't perfect you quit me. You are a quitter. My friends dont quit and are my friends through thick and thin.
To quote someone i met recently "believe me I've been through exactly what your going through now. he did you a huge favor because why the hell would you want to be with a liar, someone who gives up so easy!! Life gets hard sometimes and I don't know about you but I want someone who is going to be there no matter how hard times. I want to be able to walk through hell and come out the other side and see my girl next to me."
So i started wondering why i would want to be...
I will send you the presents i bought because a mutual friend, xyx, once told me every present has a recipient and i believe that. I want nothing in return. I do want your mom's address to send her a card. My car insurance did not reimburse m
Most Helpful Guy
you sound more mature than he is. I just noticed you are 38... my guess is you are older than he as you are more mature. You were attracted to him... thus there are things to reflect on why and learn about yourself. Every time you date, learn about others and yourself... make some improvements you wish to make, root out troubling issues in yourself so you can love and find love (in my opinion from your creator). That is the value.
He may be a narcissist, certainly is not mature. He went online so that he had a plan B to fill in whatever void/pain he has as opposed to feel it [probably].
Wish I had more time to write, but what IS the point of your text? Appears you are trying to explain to him and lead him, which is a wonderful thing. People are at different maturity levels, you care about him and you see some of what he has wrong... but he doesnt' see it. You both needed to get to counseling to work stuff out. Ideally get him to a counselor and a mens group so he can learn about how screwed up he is before he hurts himself.
I've been through a lot of that, in the pain is the rewards. Ending things is not easy, this one looks like it is dangling if he is texting you and you want to explain. Thus... I suggest you two either stop talking completely, or agree to get to a counselor to dig through things you learned about yourselves and what you want to change. I know that sounds crazy and doubt anyone will agree. But if you don't, many lessons will be saved and repeated:)
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Most Helpful Girl
You stated up top, you didn't want a reaction or to get back together. Then just remember this: Silence is an Answer Too! IF you are not seeking anything, don't write. Write the letter as you did to make yourself feel better, and tuck it away. Just go silent on him, do not contact him, when or if he reaches out, just don't respond at all. Forget the past, close the door, move forward, sometimes that is the BEST LETTER you will ever write!!!
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