My ex used to lie to me a lot, which caused me to mistrust him greatly, and then lead us to breaking up. But, what brought him to start lying to me I wonder if this was ever my fault.
I can get jealous -- I remember feeling jealous and uncomfortable with him because his ex-girlfriends were always hanging out at the bar that we went to. My solution -- when I started to feel anxious -- instead of just sitting there feeling uncomfortable I would need to just excuse myself for like 5 mins to recoup myself -- my ex absolutely hated this. I could have just made up another reason for leaving but no, I told him why. I think between having them around, and having him not okay or wanting to help make this situation better I think thats what caused me to feel anxious. (Or, I'm sure I could have just gotten over it, but he almost expected me to just be okay with them being there and hanging around us.)
I noticed the lies, probably around this time last year -- the lies were mostly about what he was doing. I'm not one to interrogate, but I'm sure its quite common to ask you're s/o "how was your day?" He used to say "I think I'll just have a night in tonight", then I'd find out that wasn't the case, and that he actually stayed out drinking. The first time I found out that, I let it slide... but it didn't feel right. Even if it was something innocent, it was still a lie.
Earlier this year, he befriended a new female co-worker. They became friends at an awkward time. Him and I were having a sort of rough patch, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend. Of course he kept them hanging out a secret from me. But I eventually found out. Again, they didn't do anything questionable -- they had lunch and what not together.
The lies about what he was doing, or who he was seeing continued.
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I then confronted him, and he was so cool about it... which I thought was weird. I told him that this was unacceptable, and I wouldn't tolerate it. So he apparently stopped.
Most Helpful Guy
You are acting perfectly fine by bein honest and sincere in a relationship. It is completely his fault for lying to you and wanting to go out and maybe cheat with other girls too. You seem like a great loyal girl, but he seems like a basic guy who likes to keep both a girl in home and still have fun outside huh1
Most Helpful Girl
He made the choice himself to lie, trust me I'm going through a very similar situation, it's never anyone's fault besides the person who chose to lie. Just remember all the lying when he tries to come back to you, it's hard but you don't want to be with someone who hides part of their life from you. I tried to make it work with my ex, who also lied to me a lot about sinilair things you talked about, and the lies just grew bigger and bigger. Don't make the same mistake I did.1