Viewing stories of other people, be it on reddit, forums, or this very site: I see supporting and comforting replies from people, advice, and on the flipside there are just callous attacks.
Someone opens up, and tells the world their relationship issues, their bitterness anger and pain. While there are definitely comforting responses, there are also always responses like
"Get over it"
"Grow up, you're an adult"
"You're being selfish"
"It's your fault it ended, move on"
How is placing blame helpful on a broken person's recovery? Their self esteem is already at rock bottom, why push them over the edge? Do people not realise that after a break up, the broken people are not only emotionally unstable but irrational? In my opinion, you cannot hold a broken person to the same standard of logic and morality as a person who is not broken. Break ups happen to everyone, so if everyone understands them, why the callous responses?
Sure I get it being desperate/clingy , or wishing their ex was dead; These are bad qualities. But is it so easy to forget that a broken person is not in the right frame of mind? These are hurt people, not evil people. They should be treated with respect.
A question to those who give callous break up advice: You wouldn't kick a crippled person, so why rub salt in a heartbroken person's wound by placing the blame on them?
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Saying "move on" sounds callous but is actually the best break up advice ever. They way it's delivered may be horrible and ineffective but the advice itself is perfect. Once the relationship is over you need to move on - sitting still and wallowing in pity and wishing for it to come back is unhealthy.
More to your point - there are people who have been affected by breakups who HAVEN'T been able to move on and tell others in vicious ways , which is ironic1