I write to you all concerning a run in I had today with my first love / ex.
Some background information:
Me and this girl dated for almost 3 years (ended in 2013). Constant back in forth for a while trying to fix things but she either always disappeared on me or dodged my invites to go out. She was my first love, we were young and I was there for the worst of the worst: pregnancy scare with me (I would not leave her single), ran away from home (I offered my space to her), didn't see her for three months due to her parent's being assholes in the summer (hung on) and so much more. Even after our breakup, she miscarried with another guy and I sucked in all my bitterness to be there for her. It wasn't enough. She claims to not feel the same about me anymore.
I was in a Walmart with my father waiting for him to get some advice on his prescription glasses. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw her for the first time in quite a while (6 months) with a person I did not recognize before. I hadn't seen her for a while so I was gonna walk up to her to say Happy Holidays (day after christmas), but her and the guy bolted to a section of the grocery store after I believe she saw me. I kept walking and made my way back to the eye glasses section and caught her looking out to see if it was me (I am believing).
Obviously I have come to terms that it is over and she is welcome to date whomever she likes but I felt dread in the way she ran from me and in the way she doesn't love me anymore every single day. I've dated other women since then but it has not worked out whatsoever (I ended all of those).
I am wondering why she ran from me? I have no interest in contacting her because she is still my Achilles' heel. 3 years is long to heal, I know, but I don't feel I have completely patched up from my heart being broken in two.