How do I get him back? -- Please answer!

We broke up over a week ago. He broke up with me because he was unhappy. He loves me, but can't be with me. He said he's not ruling out the chance of us getting back together.

The other night, he was working the late shift at work and he was online, we talked until 2:30am about random stuff. Last night, I texted him and asked him how he was. He said good, and that he was going out drinking. He made it a point to tell me he was going out drinking. I asked him if I was bothering him, and he said no. I told him he didn't have to be nice, and he could say that I was bothering him if I was, he said I wasn't but he needed to drive. I asked him if we'd talk once he got there, he simply replied with, "IDK". So I just stopped talking to him.

I woke up to see his two away messages (he's not online now, but I saw it in my life stream and he hasn't been online all day), they are:

This is to a girl who got into my head

With all these pretty things she did

Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed

It's to a girl who got into my head

With all the f***ed up things I did...


i'm so tired of days that feel like the night

"it's me and the moon," she says

and I got no trouble with that, but I am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die

i am a butterfly, I am a butterfly, I am a butterfly

Am I reading too much into things, or what here? I want him back, but I know that I can't suffocate him and bother him all the time. He seems depressed. When we talked until 2:30am the other night, he told me that he had bought 'All Quiet on the Western Front', which he only reads when he's really depressed.

I dream about him EVERY night, and last night I dreamed that we talked over e-mail and almost got back together. I wanted to send hi m a message this morning but I chickened out. Then I wanted to change our Facebook back to in a relationship and see if he would accept it. And THEN I wanted to text him and tell him, 'I'm just going to tell people we're back together'--when we first started dating, I told him I was just going to tell people he was my boyfriend, and he agreed. But I chickened out and didn't want him to get mad, or reject me and be mean.

What so I do here?
I left him a voice mail last night after I had been reading some stuff that made me really sad. I just told him that I loved him, and I wasn't expecting anything to come of my call, but I just wanted to say it and make sure he was being safe at work.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend did the same, although he didn't say he was unhappy. He just broke it off. I agree give him some space. He has issues hun going on inside his own head, that's why he wrote the letter. He's dealing with demons telling him one thing and angels telling me another. I'm sure you are the best thing for him, but back off for at least a month, this will also give him time to really miss you, believe me.

    • Last night, I decided to break off all contact with him, not matter what. We're still friends on Facebook and we're on each other's buddy lists on AIM, but I don't plan on talking to him on anything, and see if he comes back.

    • Trust me hun I just went through this. give a month to think things over in his mind. He will start to miss you and contact you. It might not be for a month but he will call.

    • I hope so, thank you (:

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • In that whole story you didn't mention why you guys broke up. There are usually reasons why but sometimes people don't know the real reasons.

    You guys fight a lot

    Complaining about money

    One person doesn't have a job

    Sex is lackluster

    One wants kids the other doesn't

    One is super clingy


    • Yes I did. I said he broke up with my because he was unhappy. That was what he told me. 'I'm unhappy'.

    • Show All
    • I have had a few people break things off with their S.O. only to find out that was the only good thing in their life. If they aren't hiring cops, perhaps he can be a firefighter or EMT. The extra training might give him the edge when they hire more cops. Either that or have him look at another city (consider moving).

    • We had plans to save up and move to another place so he would have more opportunities, but obviously that never fell through. But I'm hoping he realizes what we had was good, and he'll come back.

What Girls Said 1

  • I know that this will hurt and it isn't what you want but you need to just step back and give him space to work out whatever it is that he is going through. If you continue to contact him it may make him draw further from you. He knows that you still love him and want to be with him again so he'll reach out to you if he wants too. If you give him time and he decides he wants to try again then great, if he doesn't than you will move on. It hurts now and everyone will tell you this but it does get better. Just focus on yourself now.

    • Thank you, I'm trying. I decided not to talk to him until he talks to me. But I know that I won't even think about moving on until he tells me to. l:

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