I'm a single mother of 2. My kids are 4 and 2. I'm thinking of moving to another state to make a better living.

for us all. And be surrounded by positive people. The only thing is I have no family where I'm going, just the friends who are willing to let me stay with them until I get on my feet. I don't want to separate my son from his dad and I don't want to leave him if he were to stay with his dad. I'm very saddened and confused any advice or opinions? I feel like if I leave him he will hate me for it. But if I bring him it will be so much harder for me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you're also trying to seperate from the baby daddy. Between that fact and also improving your own well-being (equally as to the future for your children), it makes sense that you shouldn't be concerned with the baby daddy. It sounds like he is able to hold for himself.

    It's not going to be easy, but if you let the baby-daddy know where the children will be and what town they are going to, and that they are staying with you.. I see no problems arising except one major flaw. It's very hard to find a man that will stay with the children throughout their life-span. A lot of fathers run for the hills, and a lot of great potential fathers become the best-friend and aren't given a chance.

    Do this move in a pace you're comfortable with. The more you plan out your move and your back-up options / how you will find work / etc - the more you will be able to stay sane. I would recommend sending him pictures of the children or maybe even using the program "Skype" to let the baby daddy talk with his children over the computer.

    Good luck with the move, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Thank you so much. your words of advice and opinion is really helping me to think it thru. I'll let you know what I chose to do.

    • My pleasure :) You know where to find me if you need more help =P

    • Yea I do. thanx again :)

What Girls Said 1

  • I know how hard it is thinking about moving away from everything you know. I had to do this a few years ago because my parents were moving and because I was and still am under the age of 18(not for long) I had to go. I left my friends and my sister and eveything I loved behind. Starting over is extreamly hard. My parents had a few family here so its been okay for them but I have never been that great with them cause they don't know me. Been here a few years now and its gotten a lot better I still miss my old home and don't consider this home but for how its were I am. At the time this moved seemed like hell. I have gone through a lot but because of all of this I think I am a better person. More open to people and new things. But now I am thinking about my future. College, and all that. I am contemplating moving again to be closer to my sister and her family(she has also moved from where we used to live...like 1000 mines away) So this time moving even farther away from what I know is all my desision. I don't go a day without thinking is moving good, am I strong enough to start over, can I make it on my own. I know I have my sister but moving that far is big even with that. I know our situations are completly different but if you need to talk or just vent my friends say I am a pretty good listener. And I am only 17 so you might think its weird but I have been through a lot in my life and I think that's made me grow up alittle faster then my age. good luck with everything. And don't overwelm yourself with this because I know from experiance it doesn't help just makes you more tense. Let me know if you want to talk or anything. Bye.

    • Awe thank you so much I'm 22 but I've been on my own since 17. so as I get older I want to be setteled and I have aolt of memory here.

    • Yea, I think that might be one of the hardest things to do. I mean its not somthing small like buy a pink shirt or a black one. Its a big step not just for you but also for your kids. If you have a decent relation ship with there dad maybe talk to him about it. Maybe if you could work somthing out with him you might now feel so conflicted about what to do. I think its good you are unsure and are really thinking about it. it Shows you care.

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