We had been dating for 2 years. We broke up due to arguments we constantly had. He told me he wants to be friends for a while then try dating again later on.
Is he just saying that to make me feel better or does he mean it?
Most Helpful Guy
Good luck with that.
I think the key to being able to be "just friends" after a serious relationship is cutting things off completely for a solid chunk of time. A year or more, no contact at all. Move on with your life, have new routines down, new friendships, new activities, new job maybe... Your life without that person has become normal without them in it.
IF / when you reconnect a year or two down the road (which is not that long of an investment if you seriously want that person as a friend for life) you will each be a complete person without the other one, and new routines will help keep things from slipping back into old ways.
You could also look at this as an opportunity to build a stronger relationship with him if you guys truly want the relationship to work.
What was the source of your arguments? Would you both be willing to put the effort in to try to understand each other better? Is that the sole reason you broke up or was there more to it than constant squabbling?
I would be very hesitant to just drift back and fourth between "boyfriend" and "friend", it might make it impossible to ever remain friends if it doesn't work out.
You're young, so even if you DID break up, take time off for the sake of the friendship, and reconnect a year or two down the road and it ever did go back to a romantic relationship, you still would be in your 20's and both be much more mature, experienced, and maybe able to make it work. But if not, at least you've got a friend who may be one of those friends for life.
Don't plan on picking up the romantic relationship later, move forward as if there's no chance it ever will. If it does, great. If not, at least you didn't waste years of your life waiting for him and miss out on better matches that may have been available had you been living life without having him in the back of your mind.
Most Helpful Girl
He is saying that so that he doesn't look bad by just breaking up w/you and he could be holding you on a string just in case he can't find someone better. I wouldn't go for that, I stupidly believed a guy when he said that (we hadn't dated for very long) and he only contacted me 3 months later. I did not get back together w/him and I haven't talked to him since then. Tell him you are either in relationship or you are not. Someone who wants to be w/you, will not ask you to be friends, they will want a relationship w/you.0