A year later and I'm still hung up on my ex? Help?

So I'm back after volunteering abroad for 3 months I felt so good being away it was hard at times but in general I felt so happy! Now being back in the city I feel strange again, I went away to move on from my ex it's been a year now since we broke up! I didn't think of him when I was away only once one week and I got a little upset but that was all! Since we broke up it took 8months of arguments soooo much arguing and stress until I left to go away I stopped speaking to him! But since then I feel weird and strange and different! I sometimes feel lonely but I do have friends I just should try make more effort with them! I feel stressed cause I need to sort out my career now that I'm back in the city and I know my ex is doing really well in his career when we argued after breaking up he said I wasn't good enough or smart enough and I didn't have a good job! A part of me hates him resents him but a part of me also missed him and misses the company and the good times! I don't feel good enough I feel like I wasn't good enough as a girlfriend but I had issues and insecurities! I just want to be happy and live a healthy happy life without this sadness! Any help pleas? Also my ex had emailed me when I was away and I replied now telling him how much he hurt me and that I wish him all the best and goodbye... He said the same and said he wishes me all the best too! A part of me is sad and upset I wish I was good enough for him I wish he still loved me I miss the times I spent with him I miss his company! But I don't know if I miss it cause it's the only person Iv been close to he was my first BF! Any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I understand your position. But you will have to move on dear.
    I don't expect you to move on so easily. And i think it is most beautiful thing and shows genuineness of emotions and no one would want themselves to be easily forgotten by others when things don't work out.

    If i subtract all kind of emotions you have, logic dictates that once you lose the respect for anyone and start treating you as inferior, you indirectly initiate the destructive sequence for separation.
    And once break up happens , the crack remains visible forever because if it didn't work for first time how will it work again for second time?
    In modern society, break up has become a fashion. This shows how people lack basic wisdom nowadays.
    95% of cases end up in breakup even after several patch ups.
    For me break up is divorce for unmarried ones.

    Seriously speaking , you are wasting time thinking about him. This is nothing but withdrawal symptoms of love. Just like a pot smoker would feel after quitting all of sudden.

    The other reason you can't move on is because the void which is not being filled by someone else. The day you start getting attention from someone else, you will move on from your past.

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  • In reality then it hasn't been a year since you broke up because you've been in contact so much. He has been there, just out of reach. You've not had the chance to get over him because he never left your life.

    You had three months of distraction where you were occupied but now you're back and the world hasn't moved on. You didn't progress, just just sidestepped for a while. This is what happens when you divert from a problem, you don't solve it. It's still waiting there for you when you get back.

    Your healing didn't start a year ago, it starts now. It starts now because he is actually out of your life which will allow you to fill all the gaps that he has left. Progress begins when you let go, not while you keep holding on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It is a bad thing that you are still hung up about your ex boyfriend for a year but there are MANY other men out there. Just quickly remove your ex and memories out of your life and you will be happier.

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