I am currently married with kids. my wife admitted to cheating on me several months ago. she cheated on me years ago, like9 years ago when we were like 20. when I was in college and she was home with our little girl. and at being 19-22 we were fighting every now and then and they happy. we fought over me going out all the time with the fellas and she hated me being at school, going out, and not being able to support financially. but we had a lot more happy time then bad.when I went out it wasn't to cheat it was to hang with the fellas. I did make a mistake and cheated once which I told her also several months ago. she had a past of cheating on her boyfriends before me. and has a bad relationship with her dad. we were together 3 years before she messed with that dude. the dude was coming over to visit her roommate she told me at that time. I told her to don't let him come over because I know what he's about..
The guy she had sex with was a guy I grew up with in a small town. which became both of our friends. my girl move in this small town. I never really messed with a girl down in my town because they been with all the dudes I hang with. so I was happy that she moved down here and didn't mess with anybody. and I told her that and I was proud about that. not the case anymore. we argue about it like twice a month and our relationship now is bad and good. I can't believe I just found out 9 years later. if I did back then we would have been done. I used to trust her, now I don't. I look at her differently like a hoe. she said she did because she was mad at me and wanted to get rid of me, then she said she just wanted the affection he was given. which I admit I'm not a very affection person and I know girls need that. she said she like him and was feeling him. which the girl I cheat with it was just sex that was it, 2 x no feelings. now that I know I asked a guy who is his friend- he told me she gave him oral and said intimate things to him, didn't use a condom.. and at that time she rarely gave me oral, doesn't really like it.. she said 2x but I think its more. she denies everything but I won't tell her who I got the info from. when we have sex I'm thinking is she thinking about him, was it good? is he better than me. I'm very insecure on my looks and sex now. of course she said it wasn't about the sex it was about affection, then y have it. she said it wasn't good, he was 2 min and small, then y do it again I ask. she said she doesn't know. she was also pregnant during this time and lost it. but she said he wasn't coming around then, but the guy said he was but don't know if they did anything at that time. how can she be so heartless do all that. people know here but haven't said nothing to me. but I know they know and I feel humiliated and don't want to go around those group of guys anymore. when I see them I feel embarrassed, because you know how guys talk, about sex, and I know the guy we were friends and he tells his sex stories. I think about cheating which is wrong. i cant get over
Most Helpful Guy
You can still support the children from a new home. Get rid of this problematic relationship and help yourself stay sane. No offence dude but check this out:
The first half of your question was about your past: Arguements, Cheating, Financial instability, and other bad things about your and her past
The second half of your question is about the current day: She's still cheating, arguments are still happening, etc etc etc
If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't be able to see straight from all the emotions I would be feeling. The ex that cheated on me was part of my past, but I can still be her friend to this day. Last night she had an argument with some boy that was insecure about her talking to me, and I helped her realise things. This same method you can use to support her as a friend but not as an emotional crutch of support.
When you let her get away with cheating, especially over 9 years like this, they aren't going to stop. You have the proof you need to move on. Just make sure that you don't cheat on anyone else and that you leave the past as the past. The children will survive whether or not they are with you; as human beings we naturally want to be together with the baby mama/daddy.. There's no sense suffering when you can end the suffering and still support them; that's just down right stupidity.
So at this point, you need to realise that this girl hasn't changed and that she is still wanting to live in the past. Move on dude. You are worth more than that; it shows with the fact that you are still trying to get over the past to progress into your families' future.
Keep your head on and pick your battles; she's not someone to keep around.