I don't know where I went wrong with my ex? Was it my fault? Be honest. Im lost and confused?

Im 27, his 28. Since the start he was honest with me & he told me he was taking anxiety pills & receiving therapy because he had abandonment issues from when he was a child & that he has always had bad relationships. So I wanted to show him there was people who were willing to love him. I started to show him affection, which he told me to stop because I was being clingy, but it was not that I was being clingy but I wanted to show him that someone can love him. He always talked how he gave his exs all of the attention in the world & gave them everything but with me he never did those things. It bothered me because I was going over board to try to make him happy. It would bother me that I was always the one making the plans & he hardly payed attention to me he would hardly text me & when we hanged out he would always be very judgmental towards me which hurt me. Saying comments like I had dated way prettier girls than you Comments like that made me feel insecure & him constantly talking about his exs really hurt me. Everytime he would talk about them I would get upset then when I would talk mess he would tell me you need to let go of my past? Like you are the one who is constantly talking about it that is why I get upset. I broke up with him but then I regret it & he said he did not wanted to be with me he was tired of me bringing up his past but he didn't see who was the one who was doing it and I would just get upset and talk mess. I was always making the plans. I was always very patient with him & being supportive. After the 2nd month of dating he stop going to therapy & he stopped taking his pills he started to get better & started to be happy. Yet we still argued a lot because he was constantly talking about them & constantly cristism me. Like I don't know if it was my fault because when he brought up his exs I would get upset instead of listening? I should have respected him not wanting to be a affectionate boyfriend. what is your opinion of the situation?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's almost like he expected you to read his mind and act and give him what he wanted. Problem is, that kept changing intensity on the fly and he expected you know what his mood was automatically and act accordingly. Personally, I would not date someone who needs meds and therapy to act normal. I would always be afraid of them breaking down and becoming totally dysfunctional later in life. So that is a deal breaker. Once he starts to act like he did and be insulting and belittling that early in a relationship, that is strike two. I play two pitch baseball, so he would be out!

    • You are right. Thank you. I never seen it thay way. 😁

Most Helpful Girl

  • It was a good idea to dump him. He has too much baggage and I think he needs to learn to love himself first before he can love someone else. It's like he's projecting all his anxieties onto you and that isn't healthy. He has to change first.

    • I miss him but I think it was for the best. Thank you for the advice

    • That's a good attitude to have after a break up. Telling myself it was for the best also got me through mine, and I didn't have to lie to myself cuz it was the truth :) I believe you are in the same position.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Your ex has a lot of baggage and it sounds like he is incapable of handling a relationship. I don't see where you went wrong. He has issues and he needs to deal with them without dragging you down in the process.

    • Thank you. I never seen it that way. 😁

  • I think you did the right think by leaving him. Based on what you wrote here, you sound pretty great and he sounds like a prick. OK, troubled maybe, but not a nice guy and you could do much better. I suspect had you stayed with him he would have just ended up hurting you more. You deserve a nice guy.

    • Thank you. I needed to hear that. I'm still a little sad over it but I will recover. 😊

    • You're welcome. Good luck and hope your 2017 is a great year for you.

    • Aww. Thank you. Hope you have a wonderful 2017. 😀

What Girls Said 1

  • I was not an affectionate girlfriend and it's just part of some people's personality and it angered my ex to the point where he didn't want to be with me. But he doesn't have to say those things to you, that's just mean. You have every right to be upset, but you should've talked things through and got in each other's heads. I don't think it's either of your fauls, just 2 different personalities misunderstanding each other

    • That's the thing he said he was affectionate with all of his exs but with me he didn't want too because he didn't wanted me to I was going to screw him over like they did. I always felt like I was paying for what they did. Which is unfair to me. :(

    • Yeah that sucks, and tbh i dont blame him for having this wall up. It sucks but those relationships changed him as a person, and if he's not your type of person then thats it

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