My boyfriend broke up with me last week, but we have a booked holiday in a week and he said he wants to go there with me. What do you think about this?

Okay so my boyfriend broke up with me last Thursday and we have a skiing holiday booked in a week. We live in Southern Finland and the trip is to Northern Finland, so it is nothing big. When we broke up he said he will go to the holiday no matter what I decide, one day after he said he will not probably go if I do not go with him. We have kept in touch due to the holiday. When I was still hesitating if I should go with him or not, he said he really wants me to join him. I agreed.

We decided on how to behave in the holiday: he said he wants to act like we never broke up. I know this sounds fishy but I know my ex and he is a good man. I really wish to get back together with him because the reason why we broke up was because I started medication for my anxiety and they made me say stupid things which I would not normally say.

When he was together with his ex, he made too quick decisions which made them break up and get back together many times. This might be the same, since I felt like he might have sounded like he regretted breaking up.

All in all when we broke up and he was talking about the trip, he said he cannot promise anything after the trip, and he cannot know what will happen after it. The day after we broke up when he said he wants me to join him, he was just saying that he does not know what will happen.

I know it sounds weird and stupid, but I know what I feel in my head now and everything seems so clear to me, and I am getting better with the anxiety: I do not have it almost at all anymore! This is what I want him to see. He told me I am the perfect girl for him, apart from the anxiety issues that also concern him.

So what do you think about this? All answers are highly appreciated! <3


Most Helpful Guy

  • you're perfect for him... but he can't promise you staying after the trip?
    what this trip all about? let's have one last dance and sex and good bye?

    If he really worried about your anxiety issues... he will stay to your side to give the support that you need.

    the real relationship is accepting each other with your positive or negative differences... no matter if you're in a wheelchair or anxiety or not.

    just don't live your life by someone else's standards.
    Good luck...

    • We're just going skiing for 5 days.

      He was helping me with my issues, and A LOT. It came out of the blue that he wanted to break up, and that's why I was thinking that he's probably treating me the way he treated his ex.. As far as I know his ex was manipulative and he stayed in the relationship for almost 6 years, so he said that he doesn't want to be unhappy in a relationship ever again. Yes, I have been pretty awful, but I always realised my bad behaviour and apologised and really changed the way I think in the end. So it sucks that it happened like this, that's why I'm kinda thinking if that's his final decision..

      But I definitely agree, he should've stayed with me and give me support for the last time, when he knew my meds were taking over me for a while.

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    • no one perfect... a real relationship happens when two people are happy with their lives as they are before they meet the other person, they donโ€™t need someone else to be happy. and when these two independent people come together they realize that they may be happy alone, but this person gives them something to look forward to everyday of their life.

      try to create a loving relationship with yourself before deciding to commit yourself with somebody else... you'll see the difference.
      happy holiday...

    • You're right. One day I will definitely be the best possible version of myself. Thank you for your advice! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • what! it sounds weird

    • I know!! And I'm confused af.. I know the guy and I know he loves me a lot, but I don't know about this.. I know I really want to be with him, and I think he wants the same, but the anxiety problems before the meds were pretty bad..

      Arrhgghh this is making my head explode!!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You want to try to salvage the relationship, and it's easier to talk things out on vacation where you can relax. Go for it! A lot of couples who are also pretty much broken up will be there.

    • Thanks! I'm just freaking out here because he knows I still want to be together so he said he can't promise anything. He said few days ago that he still has all the same feelings towards be, and the decision of breaking up he made with his head, not heart.

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    • Yeah, and normally I would be too afraid to do anything, but now it's time to give my all.

    • all the best, and regardless of whether it works out, you will ALWAYS remember this time... and that you did your best.

  • If he has gotten back together with exes before and you think he sounds like he wants to get back with you it may be a test drive weekend. He wants to see if the spark is still there and how you act to maybe get back together.

    • Well basically first when we broke up he said that he can't promise anything after the trip as he doesn't see the future.. I'm not sure if he wants to get back together since he never said it so that's why I need your opinions.

      It's really weird that he wants to act as we were together when we go to the holiday and I would totally think that the guy's using me, but since we talked about it and I know him, I know he isn't just taking advantage of me.

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    • Good luck hope it works out for you.

    • Thank you so much!! :)

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