How to help an ex with substance abuse problems?

Me and my ex reconnected after years. He has always struggled with drinking/drugs/sex, which broke us up, but we always had a really strong soul-connection that we don't have with anyone else, and he's always loved me. He is doing better than before with his bad habits, barely drinks and smokes anymore and doesn't do hard drugs, but he still thinks he can't stop on his own. He has no real friends who don't use drugs due to the "20s hookup/drug culture" and struggles to find friends who are clean and healthy, and I agreed to help him look into rehab/therapy and get his life in order again after all these years. He's really grateful, but I don't want to get super attached (I do still have very strong feelings for him. Always have.)

When I date him or love him he does hurt me, or always has in the past because he lies and is addicted to plenty of things which he lies FOR. He "claims" to be doing better but I can tell he still struggles with problems. How can I help him and be a friend to guide him without getting my heart broken? I feel like blowing him off would be wrong for me because I know I'm the only person in his life who he has truly connected with and trusted this way. Besides I've always wanted a healthy life for him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't fix him. Unfortunately. The best thing you can do is let him walk his own path

    • But say he's going to rehab and wants me to visit and be there and stuff because I'm the only person who knows the real him, ever. Not sure if I should go with or not

    • Show All
    • That's true, i Think he is using me as the only pure influence in his life and a big reason to get better is the chance to date me again even though I already declined that

    • Which is never a healthy place to be. You need to get better for yourself, not for someone else

  • Send him to a desintoxication center. They're professionals.


What Girls Said 1

  • I dated someone like your ex, he always hurt me. He is a drug addict and that's everything to him


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