I think my boyfriend is going to kill me soon?

I moved from the west coast to MN for a job and ended up meeting him on POF almost 9 months ago. I liked him but didn't like MN and the fact that I knew no one in the state so I decided I would go back to California. Instead, he offered me a place to live and a job with his uncle's cleaning business. Several weeks after I moved in, he immediately would become possessive and the physical abuse started. During the past 8 months I've broken a toe, a finger, had my lip busted open (perm damage), been choked so hard that my throat popped and I coughed up what I believe to be a piece of my cartilage.. been dragged, pushed, kicked, slapped and punched from wall to wall. His brother, sister, and niece moved in with us on the 1st of Jan from a diff state and they all moved out this morning to a homeless shelter because he lashed out at them as well on top of his sister seeing him punch me on the side of my face and his entire family witness him push me and tell at me to go to the room. I was supposed to go with them but I truly am scared of being homeless again and now I am completely broke because my dad gifted me some money that all went to rent.. Basically, this morning when he got home from work, I was sleeping on the couch and could feel someone standing over me. I woke up and he's staring at me and not saying anything so I asked him what's wrong.. he continued to stare at me for another 20 seconds before taking a blanket and sleeping in the room... On New year's Eve I found myself standing on a small platform of a bridge getting ready to jump off when police surrounded me and managed to talk me out of jumping.. I was hospitalized for a day and the day his family came, a row of condoms fell out of his pockets. One day he tells me he loves me and the next, I'm a cheating whore and he wants to be left alone.. now, going back to the west coast is no longer an option for me and I really just don't know where to find the strength to just get out.. any thoughts would be nice.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Get out now and go find a job at a strip club, sorry to sound so extreme. I never stayed long enough to get punched but have been in relationships that was getting physical with pushing and shoving, same bipolar behavior. Get out and stand on your feet, do not look back, report him and get out. I assume you're in America, so much opportunities there, get out and be on your two feet. Find a nice club and make quick money to get a place, the club is quicker way to make money, strippers are not whores, it's a fast house it's how I got away from men like those. Your story sounds like a nightmare.

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    • But I can't dance.. so there's that barrier but I am often stared at and called attractive.

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    • Okay thank you. I will do that rn.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I say leave when you know he won't be around, take only the important things with you. Go to the police to get to a shelter, or to a church or religious center. They defiantly will help you. Don't live with it anymore. You have legit concerns, get out of there and keep everyone posted if you can

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    • yeah, tonight he tried to hit his sister and his uncle had to step between them but he was too strong and really getting close to her so I had to put him in a choke hold and wait til he calmed down.. he tried to go at her again when I let go and once I mentioned him going to jail, he stopped.

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    • It's below 0 degrees rn... where would I go without transportation?

    • What is near by? I'd take anything at this point, also I could be wrong but due to last or humidity the cold may not be bad in MN as it would in my parts

  • I think you need to check yourself into a women's refuge.

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    • tried that (after being hospitalized) and when I came back to get clothes since all I had were what was on my back, he wouldn't let me leave.. he begged and begged and I was too weak

    • Leave again and be stronger next time, pack a bag while he's taking a shit.

  • I hope you will get out of that place safety , no man should abuse a woman you deserve a better life but them people from them dating sites have mental issues and you really need to call the police and they will help find a safe place for you to live even if they need talk to relatives or even your dad to get you help.

    Best Wishes

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  • Go to the police this very minute, and have them arrange for you to get to a shelter. What are you waiting for?

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  • Hun you should go to a woman's shelter. Your concerns are legit and he's an abusive person. Something bad will happen if you stay there.

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  • Woah 😮 This is one of the worst things I've seen on here. I think you need to get out and go somewhere. Doesn't the government or police help with things like that where you live?

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What Girls Said 12

  • I would go to a church and explain to them your situation. There are tons of caring people there, they will most likely find a place where you can live. Especially big churches, they normally have programs for abused women. There are also women's shelters you could go live at. If you have documented evidence of the abuse, pictures of the bruises then I would take that to the police.

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  • If you're being physically abused your family members will help you move out of the situation. Don't tell me you don't have the means that's a bullshit excuse.

    You're not executing the actions required to remove yourself from the toxic situation.

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    • Nah, my mom is a racist who abuses my siblings and I and also has my childhood abuser living with her. Like I said, back home on the west coast is not an option for me. I prob shouldn't have been more specific in my post but I'm only allowed 2000 characters.. I am diagnosed with Social Phobia and Agoraphobia.. it's not an excuse.

    • I mean I should have been more specific..

  • Go to the fucking police. Go to the women's shelter. Go to your fucking dad.
    Do you like being beaten up and abused like that? Do what hundreds of other victims of domestic abuse did and get the fuck out of there.

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  • You don't have any family that you can turn to? Friends? This is most defiantly not a good situation. You should really let your words sink in. "I think my boyfriend is going to kill me soon". You have one life, don't let that be taken away from you because you stayed in an abusive relationship.

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  • Sweetie go to a woman's shelter and ask a police officer to go with you to pick up your things. It's dangerous. I know it hurts, but believe me you will never regret being brave right now. All you have to do is be brave for an hour. That's all it takes for you to be safe. Once you are in the shelter you can cry as much as you want to. But right now you need to be brave, because it's your life. Something really bad can happen if you stay there. Please, please get help. Even if your family has to go all the way from California.

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  • Being homeless sounds better then what your living through right now! Girl even his own family left doesn't that tell you something!

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  • You need to LEAVE him and GET HELP from other people, don't let fear get a hold of you!!

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  • yeah just post it online so he or his friends can find it... face palm

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    • Jess you can beat him up cuz your buff tho rt?

  • You should contact the police ASAP.

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  • Much love to you. In addition to other posters' advice about police, shelters and churches, United Way also has a hotline in California to help find services that will help:

    2-1-1

    www.unitedwaysca.org/our-work/2-1-1-resources

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  • You need to find a battered womans shelter to help you. I know what its like to be abused, my first boyfriend used to starve me and sexually assault me by scratching my cervix. You can break away from this person

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  • Leave... YWCA girl, they will help you, fire station... anywhere, get out now... you dont even have to take anything with you, people will help you, trust me. And as soon as you walk out call the police if you can find it in you.

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